


Spies and Pies

by 88dragons



Series: Spies and Pies [1]
Category: Pushing Daisies, Real Person Fiction, Spooks | MI-5, The Hobbit RPF
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, And I mean AU, But only a couple of nights a week, Crazy, Eventual Sex, Fluff and Smut, I'm getting to it, M/M, Mixed Up, Ned is Calpernia, Oral Sex, Pies, Richlee-ish, Smut, Spies, There will be sex, Waking the Dead - Freeform, You just have to read it to figure it out, cross dressing, i don't know where this came from, i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-11
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 01:44:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 32,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/88dragons/pseuds/88dragons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucas is in America after faking his own death with the help of Harry.  Harry calls him to find out what happened to an informant who just happened to have been murdered in the alley next to the Pie Hole.  It gets crazy from there.</p>
<p>Sorry if I am misrepresenting here.  I really honestly did not know what to do with this story, but I have seen on sites where there was a call for Lucas/Ned so I put it where I could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reactivated

**Author's Note:**

> This is insane. Please be patient with me. I put it under Rich/Lee and all so it could be found, since the pairing is not on the list. As Cat told me, I am a pioneer!!

He didn’t like it when his phone rang. 

There were various reasons for this: he didn’t much like talking on the phone, he liked so very few people enough to listen to them on the other end of the line for any amount of time, and so on and so forth.

The main reason was that if his phone was ringing it was either someone who knew who he was and perhaps had a good idea where he was that didn’t have any business in knowing either, and that was not good at all. Or it could be someone who knew who he was and where he was, and did have the right to know such things, but that did not necessarily mean that was a good thing. So, either way, he didn’t like it when his phone rang.

As it was doing now. Persistently.

He counted the rings, choosing not to even look at the bloody damn thing until he had to. On the 20th ring, he reached, found it on the table next to where he sat on a couch in an apartment that was all so very new to him, and answered the phone. All the signals were there to be read. He did need verification to know who it was calling him. The final rung on the latter of reasons why he hated this stupid thing.

“Harry,” he said flatly.

“Lucas,” Harry returned. He could just see the other man’s face as if he were standing right in front of him. “There is something you need to take care of.”

“Oh, and what is that?” So much for retirement.

“A man was killed yesterday by the name of Glen Marlow. He was going to turn himself in and divulge an incredible amount of Intel on the faction he was with. The group he _was_ with is called something rather ridiculous. Umm. Ah! Here it is. DSR. Bloody hell! What does that stand for?”

“Never heard of them,” Lucas said slowly. His brow was furrowed slightly in confusion. He had thought he knew or at least had heard about every terrorist faction that there was in the world, but with new ones popping up every day, and since he was _retired_ he hadn’t been keeping up with it like he used to.

“Well, in truth, neither have I, but the information he was going to pass along was worth a great deal to someone. I need you to just keep an eye out. Don’t get yourself caught up in anything that is going to compromise you in any way, but if you do happen to find out who killed him…Well, then, I wouldn’t mind if you pass it along.”

“I can do that,” Lucas said. “It isn’t like I have much to do anyway.” He was enjoying his time now that he was not a spy any longer. Hell, he wasn’t even supposed to be alive, and while still recovering from the stunt that he had done in order to make his death convincing, he sure as hell wasn’t in any shape to go chasing terrorists around. He probably would never be back to the form he had been in before falling off a building and landing on the roof of a car. 

“You might want to start at the place he was killed. He was shot outside of a place not too far from where you are staying.” Harry paused a moment. “I am sorry for the inconvenience, Lucas.”

“I’m dead, Harry. How much more inconvenient could it be?” Lucas managed a grin that he was fully aware Harry could not see. He was going to lament his peace and quiet, because, quite frankly, he was bored as hell. “What is the name of the place where this man was killed?”

“The Pie Hole.”

**************

“Is it just me, or is something in the air?” 

“There is the scent of blueberry pie in the air, Olive, but other than that, it’s just you.”

The tiny blonde rolled her eyes as she continued wiping down the counter. The lunch drive was over and she had time to tidy up before the commuters on their way home from work descended upon the Pie Hole. After it being so loud with so many customers, she found herself wishing for a little excitement while she was glad for the down time in between the hours of chaos. But what did one expect when such baking genius, as was possessed by Ned, made all his baked goods a must have? 

She glanced over her shoulder at said baking genius who she had once been madly in love with, or at least she had thought she had been. His tall, lanky form glided around the kitchen area gracefully, busy as a bee, so-to-speak, creating such masterpieces in pie form. Now Olive considered him a very good friend, almost like a brother really, and was glad that so much had been put behind them, so they could move on and turn the new Pie Hole into a place of popularity and commerce.

She had something on her mind to say, something rather profound in her opinion, when the door opened, the bell above it ringing in its ability to alert, and she turned abruptly, a smile on her face.

“Welcome to the Pie Hole…” It was a good thing there wasn’t any more to her greeting because she would have failed to get it out if there had been.

The man who entered was tall and rather handsome, if not a little pale, with short dark brown hair, and blue eyes that were electrifying, in Olive’s opinion. He wore a long black coat against the cold wind outside, and jeans that appeared to be new, not that Olive was paying too much attention to anything below his neck line at the moment.

“How can I help you today?” She added, smiling as wide as she could, as charming as possible.

The man, for a moment, seemed uncertain. “I am looking into the death of a man who was here yesterday. A Glen Marlow.”

Accent. British. Definitely. Olive opened her mouth to answer, tell this lovely man what she knew, which, unfortunately, wasn’t much. But she didn’t get a chance.

“He was in here yesterday morning,” Ned said from the doorway of the kitchen. Olive turned to look at him and when she did, her brow furrowed. She really couldn’t place the strange look on his face that she was seeing and had never seen before.

“Was he alone?” Olive swung her head back around to the stranger. His face was neutral, but he was staring right at Ned, and she thought for a moment that she might not exist any longer.

“It was rather busy, but I think so.” Ned left his place in the kitchen doorway and came closer to the counter. “But he was killed later on, after noon. We heard the gunshot in here from the alleyway.”

The man sighed, nodding his head slightly. “You didn’t see anything else suspicious? Anything at all.”

Olive and Ned both shook their heads. “You aren’t with the police I take it.” _Nice going, Ned!_ Olive wanted to yell at him. 

“No, I’m not.” The man stated. His blue eyes were intense for sure, and Olive was surprised that Ned hadn’t found an excuse to look away yet. “Thank you for your time.”

“I’m Olive by the way,” she called out to the stranger just as he was about to turn and leave. He paused, his eyes meeting hers again. “And this is Ned.” The blue eyes shifted once again, scrutiny at its finest. “Feel free to pop in at any time.”

The man opened his mouth as if to speak and then thought better of it and walked back toward the door. He opened it, the ring of the bell loud in the large space of the room, but just before he exited, he threw over his shoulder: “Lucas. And I just might.” And then he was gone out into the cold.


	2. Dead Man Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned and Olive pay a visit to Glen Marlow and found out something about Lucas.

_What in the hell had he been thinking?_

When Harry had called him, it was unexpected but not a surprise. Lucas was not only a presumed dead spy and agent of Britain’s elite MI-5, but he had never truly been an agent at all. It had all been a lie. And when that truth had been about to come out, he had faked his death. Harry had put on a good act, a very convincing one, but that was all that it had been – an act. Why Harry had decided that this course of action was the best one, Lucas could only guess at. In reality, he should have been locked up for treason and so many other things that he couldn’t possibly have named them all. Hell, they should have reopened the Tower of London just for him and left him there to rot.

But here he was, alive, well, and free in America. Safe from persecution. Once again working for the only man who knew he was not only alive, but a murderer and a traitor, and still he had called upon him.

And what had Lucas done? He had told two people he had barely met his real name. His _real name_. 

He must have bloody well lost his mind. 

Granted, he doubted either one of them were going to put any pieces together. Sure, they were curious. He had just walked in off the street and asked about a murder that had taken place the day before. He had not flashed a badge of any kind, but if they thought anything, it would be that he was a cop. A British cop, but a cop nonetheless. They would never put together that he was an ex-spy. So he had nothing to worry about.

And then, there was the man. What had his name been? Oh, yeah - _Ned_. Unassuming, definitely hiding something Ned. Lucas may not have been really who had said he was all those years in MI-5, but he had learned real quick and been damn good at what he did. And he knew when someone was hiding something, and the tall, lanky American was definitely trying to keep something hidden. It might have been about the murder, but Lucas wasn’t sure. 

But he was gonna be.

_______________________

“Okay. That guy was strange,” Olive was saying. “Strange but attractive. And how is a British guy a cop here anyway.”

“I don’t think he was a cop,” Ned said. He was going back into the kitchen, a safe place for sure. Maybe a safe place. Probably not. “I don’t have a clue what he is, and why he cares about the murder, but he was definitely not a cop.”

“You wanna go see what the dead guy knows, don’tcha?” Olive had her arms folded over her chest, smiling like she knew a really big secret, one she had been sworn not to tell. But she did know a really big secret. One that involved Ned and his being able to bring the dead back to life, if only for a minute exactly. 

“No!” Ned was vehement in his denial, but then his shoulders slumped. “Yes. I want to.” He sighed. “But we can’t.”

“And just who are you trying to convince here: me or you?” Olive was a force to be reckoned with.   
“We could get in a lot of trouble,” Ned was arguing. Trying to argue. He did not sound very encouraging for his own argument. “But we need to know who this guy is and maybe the dead guy knows something.”

“Yay!” Olive was already turning over the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’ and locking the door. They could afford to miss one lunch time in the case of an emergency and an adventure she knew was just waiting for them.

__________________

It shouldn’t be so easy to get into a morgue, but once again, just as it had been before, it was again. 

And here Ned was, Olive by his side, staring at the sheet that covered the dead body of one Glen Marlow. Olive was barely able to hide her excitement, though Ned couldn’t figure out why she would be so excited. Maybe he was just used to it. Had he ever been excited about this?

Taking a deep breath, Ned jerked back the sheet, checked his watch, and touched the dead guy. He had a bullet through his heart, but that did not stop Glen from sitting up and looking around.

“Hey! Am I in the morgue?”

“Yes, you are. We need to know who killed you.” Ned knew they didn’t have much time. It was best to get right to the point.

“That damn Russian guy. I knew in the second it took for him to pull the trigger, that I had been cheated. All I was good for was to get that ex-MI-5 agent out into the open. Man, I can’t believe what an idiot I was.” The entire time Glen was talking, he was poking his index finger in and out of the bullet hole in his chest. Ned was trying not to focus on that. Olive was mesmerized.

“What ex-MI-5 agent?” Ned was running out of time and so was Glen.

“Um, I’m not sure. They said his name once, but I can’t quite recall. Apparently, the guy faked his own death or something. The Russians managed to track him here to the states. They want him dead and bad. Let me tell you. They _really_ hate this guy.”

“What was the Russian’s name that shot you?” Olive had finally decided to help out.

“Vlade something. I never could pronounce it. Oh!” Glen looked up at Ned. 5 seconds. “The ex-spy. His name was Lucas North.” 1 second. Ned touched Glen on his shoulder, and the man fell back down onto the cold metal slab.

“Did he just say Lucas North? _Lucas_? Where I have I heard that name before?” Olive asked. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was open. A morgue, yes, but no flies could be seen. She looked at Ned who wore a similar expression of disbelief. 

“The man from this morning!” They both exclaimed before hightailing it out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calpernia will make her exit soon!!


	3. Disguises

“We need to find him and tell him what we know.” Olive practically had to run to keep up with Ned. He took one step to her three and she was in heels. 

“I know, but how do we find him?” Ned was usually a considerate guy, but he was in a hurry, though in a hurry to what he did not know. Olive was right; they had to find Lucas North, but he didn’t know how to even begin. How does one find a dead-but-not-dead-ex-MI-5 agent? “I doubt he is listed in the phone book.”

Olive was running out of ideas, which hadn’t been in abundance to begin with, and out of breath. She grabbed Ned by his elbow to stop him once she managed to get close enough. He opened his mouth to apologize to her for not even thinking about her as they walked, but she fluttered her hand at him to tell him to not bother. 

“Let’s just hope he does come back like he said he might, and soon.”

“Yeah, especially before the Russians get him.”

_____________________

He didn’t show up. Not for the rush of commuters and not in the quiet time after. 

Ned and Olive stood behind the counter, eyes on the door, hoping that the man would just walk through the door like the last time. Ned was leaning down over said counter, chin propped in his hand. Olive had her arms folded on the flat surface, crestfallen face anchored by her chin to folded arms. They had been like this for nearly an hour, twenty minutes after the scheduled closing time. 

“It would be a shame for the guy to get killed after faking his own death,” Olive commented.

“Probably stopped a lot of people from doing some really bad things in his time as an agent.” Ned was starting to feel numb in his feet and hands from being in one place for so long. “Now he is retired, in a way I guess, and they still won’t leave him alone.”

“It must be tough being a spy,” Olive said with a sigh. Then she glanced at the clock. Her head shot up and she began drumming her hands on the counter. “It is almost 8:30. You are going to be late.”

“Yeah. Right.” Ned reluctantly left his spot, urgency driving him to not have a clue what he needed to do first. Finally, he went into the kitchen and collected his bag from its hiding spot. “Don’t wait up for me.” He said as he dashed out the back door.

Olive shook her head, watching him leave. She had stopped waiting up for him years ago.

___________________ 

Lucas had no idea what he was doing in this place. Besides the fact that it was the closest place to his apartment that served liquor, there was no other reason for him to be here.

He sat in the corner, nursing his second drink in 20 minutes. He was watching the stage with what would have been amusement if he was in the mood to be amused. Glen Marlow’s murder was still on his mind. He had no leads and no idea where to go to find them. He didn’t want to have to call Harry after what hadn’t even been a day and tell him it was hopeless, but that might be what he had to do.

Up on the stage, was a man. Well, he was sure it was a man. He had an Adam’s apple. However, he was dressed up as a woman. A wig, makeup, heels, a dress, and all. Lucas didn’t know the song the man was lip-synching to, but it was a show tune he was sure. The waitress brought Lucas another drink, taking his empty glass away. At least she was really a she, he was almost completely sure.

The song was over and the man/woman left the stage to a flourish of applause. The man at the DJ booth announced the next performer due on stage – Calpernia Addams – so Lucas sat back in his chair in the corner of the bar and prepared for what was next as much as he could. He really should find another bar.

He had to admit that he was more than a little surprised. If this woman was really a man, which she apparently was, than he was damn good at it. Even with Lucas’s trained eye, it was hard to tell. Lucas shook his head when he had that thought that the person on the stage now was actually… _pretty_. Very pretty.

He was even more surprised when Calpernia (what kind of name was that anyway?) suddenly looked right at him, and then froze in the middle of the song and dance as if she knew him. It was only for a few seconds before she went back to her act, but it made Lucas weary. How did she know him? He knew he would’ve remembered a 6’3 man dressed as a woman. Or a 6’3 woman for that matter. He was very damn sure of it.

The song ended and Calpernia left the stage in a rush followed by clapping and whistles from adoring fans. Lucas finished off his drink, deciding it was time to leave, when his senses alerted him that someone was coming up to him on his right. He instinctively reached for his gun, turning to find the person before they got to close.

He was more than a little surprised once again. So much in fact that his hand froze on the grip of the gun resting against the ribs of his left side. He could only stare, his eyes following as Calpernia pulled out the chair nearest to him and sat down.

“Who –” Lucas began.

“Listen to me. There are some Russians that know who you are and want to kill you.” She said. Her voice was familiar.

“How do you know this?” Lucas knew those eyes also. He had seen them before. Looked right into them. 

“Glen Marlow,” was the hushed answer. Those familiar eyes were glancing around the room as if expecting to see someone pull out a gun and start firing in their direction. 

“Marlow is dead.” It was right there. The answer to who this person was.

“I know, but…” Calpernia sighed, turning back to look at him. “It’s a long story and one you probably aren’t going to believe, but you have to believe me when I tell you that they know you are alive and they want you dead.”

And then, just like that, Lucas realized where he had heard that voice and where he had seen those eyes.

“You’re Ned.”

Ned/Calpernia sighed. “Yeah. Another long story. Come on. We have to get out of here and then I will tell you everything.” He stood and turned back the way he had come. 

Lucas was not prepared for this. What the hell was going on?

Realizing that the ex-spy was not following, Calpernia turned around sharply. “Come on! Hurry!”

Lucas shook his head, sighing, but rose and followed. Around the tables, staying close to the wall until coming to an open doorway which obviously led back stage. Calpernia…Ned… _whoever_ led Lucas to a back door marked EXIT. 

“Stay right here. I will be right back.” And then she was gone. Lucas decided for the time being that he was going to stick with ‘she’ because Ned looked like a ‘she’. Lucas shook his head again, bewildered. _Damn_ did he look like a ‘she’.

Calpernia returned just a few moments later with a bag slung over her shoulder. Obviously Ned did not arrive here looking like a woman, and probably didn’t leave here that way either, but there was a need for haste so he was willing to make do.

Once they were outside and in the alleyway, Calpernia (Ned) gripped Lucas’ arm so she (he) could keep her (his) balance while bringing a foot up to adjust a shoe. It was a very nice shoe, a large shoe, much larger than a woman’s shoe, with a two inch heel, which made Calpernia (Ned) taller than Lucas by some 3 inches or so.

“These are not the shoes I want to be walking home in.” He complained, stomping the foot back down on the ground. “But we need to get back to the Pie Hole.”

Lucas allowed himself to be led out of the alley and down the street. He stayed silent, trying to put everything together in his head, but it just wasn’t coming out right.

His training had _never_ covered this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so much fun to write! And as lost_kitty pointed out to me, Lucas seems to have forgotten his spy training, allowing himself to be led along by a (wo)man he just met.


	4. He Said She Said

Olive sat up and looked at the clock. It was only just after 10:00. Ned usually didn’t come back until after midnight. He did two shows three nights a week at the bar. 

Olive didn’t wait up for Ned. That didn’t mean she was a sound enough sleeper not to wake up when he came home.

And he was wearing heels. Ned never wore heels home. Was there something wrong?

She jumped out of bed, threw her housecoat on, and left her room. The lights in the kitchen were on and she could hear voices as she tiptoed down the stairs. Who was Ned talking to? Had he brought someone from the bar home? 

She peered around the corner and immediately got her answer.

“You found him!” She raced into the kitchen, not caring that her hair was a mess and she was in a robe and pajamas. “How did you find him?”

“I was on stage, looked up, and there he was,” Ned explained. Or Calpernia explained. Olive had seen Ned dressed as Calpernia, had even taught him how to apply makeup and pick out a wig, but it was scary how convincing he was even to her. And judging by the look on Lucas’ face, he was at a loss completely.

“You frequent bars with guys who dress up as girls as the entertainment often?” She had just had to ask.

Lucas turned his blue eyes to her. “No. I needed a drink. They served liquor. It was close to where I live.” He closed his eyes, using two fingers to rub the bridge of his nose. “Would one of you tell me _what in the hell_ is going on here?”

Olive looked at Ned, saw Calpernia, and motioned with her hand. “This is all you, Ned.”

“Thanks,” he said. He clearly was only being polite. Ned took a deep breath and then: “I have this ability, and don’t ask me how I have it because I don’t know, but I can touch a dead person and wake them up and talk to them for exactly one minute and then I have to touch them and kill them again or an innocent person dies, and I did this to Glen Marlow and he told me that the Russians knew you are alive and here, and want you dead.” This was all spoken at what could only be described as break-neck-speed. When Ned was finished, he took another deep breath, and let it out in the form of a long sigh, and sat back to wait for Lucas’ reaction.

It was not what either one of them was expecting.

“You’re a wraith,” Lucas said. It was so matter-of-fact that at first neither Olive nor Ned caught on to what he had said.

“Huh?” This came from both Olive and Ned at the exact same time.

“Wait. Isn’t a wraith a ghost of some sort?” Olive glanced briefly at Ned. How does a guy put makeup on better than her, a member of the gentler sex from birth? 

“Yes, but it was the code word given to those who had the same ability as Ned during World War 2.” Lucas folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the large, glass-doored storage units for Ned’s pies. “And since then.”

“There are others like me?” Ned couldn’t believe it. If there were more people like him, then maybe one of them had answers that he did not, like how he came to have this ability and why.

“Honestly, I don’t know if there are any more now. There were only a few back then. At least the few that came forward and acknowledged their ability.” Lucas had only read the files when he came upon them once and he hadn’t really believed what he had found in there.

“What were they used for?” Olive was sure Ned was in shock. So was she, really.

“Let me put it this way: if you can bring a spy or a traitor or someone of some importance with information you need back to life without actually having to worry about the ‘alive’ part and still get the information that you require, then that is what you do.” 

“So, why is this guy after you? What did that Harlow guy mean when he said they knew you were alive?” Ned was trying, and had already tried several times, to stuff his hands in his pockets, a habit, a defensive-ish habit. He didn’t feel threatened at the moment – it was just reflex. But putting one’s hands into pockets was only beneficial if one actually had pockets. Unfortunately, ladies’ evening wear was often void of pockets, much to Ned’s annoyance. 

“I was a spy for the British Government, and, as often with spies, the only way out is to either die or to fake dying. I chose to fake it.” Lucas smiled bitterly. “It was a very elaborate and painful event. I would hate to have gone through all of that and still end up dead. Really dead.”

“Olive, would you please make some coffee,” Ned suggested. Olive nodded and bounced on her way to the coffee maker. “I need…to…go…change.” Ned kept his head down as he walked past Lucas to the flight of stairs.

Olive grinned over her shoulder. “He’s a little introverted. And I imagine he is kinda uncomfortable. I would be, walking in those heels. His insteps must be killing him.”

Lucas’ eyes followed Ned as far as they could before turning his attention to Olive. “Why does he do that?”

“The whole Calpernia thing?” Lucas nodded. Olive shrugged. “Beats me. I mean, I am surprised he is not a blubberin’ idiot with all that had been going on in his life. I guess Calpernia is an escape from that. And odd way to escape, but an escape just the same.”

Lucas nodded in understanding. He himself had often thought of escape, and he had done so by faking his own death, which had in reality very nearly cost him his life in the process. But it appeared that he hadn’t escaped as well as he had hoped he had.

A few moments later, with Lucas sitting comfortably in a booth, a cup of coffee in front of him, and Olive bustling about as if the place was open and packed full of customers, Ned returned, this time void of any signs of Calpernia, dressed in jeans and a sweater.

Olive handed him a cup of coffee then disappeared back into the kitchen. Ned slid into the seat across from Lucas.

“So, why were you looking for Glen Marlow in the first place?”

“My old boss called me up and asked for a favor.” Lucas took a sip of coffee. It was very good. “According to his intel, Marlow was going to turn himself in and disclose highly sensitive material from the faction he was with.”

“They just can’t let it go, can they?” Lucas knew what Ned meant: they just couldn’t leave a spy, no matter how former and why, well enough alone. Lucas wondered that also. What did he owe Harry? What did he owe Britain? A lot if one considered the truth of his past and all the falsehoods he had spun, but he had served his country in spite of all that, and with all pretense, gave his life for it. Were they ever going to leave him alone?

“I think it would probably be best if you stayed here,” Ned said out of the blue. Lucas glanced up at him, but Ned was staring into his cup of coffee like it had all the answers to every problem in the world. “Safer, I mean. Not that you can’t take care of yourself. I am sure you can, better than Olive and I can, but if they know you are alive, then they might know where you live already. Better safe than sorry.”

Lucas could not help the half-grin that spread across his face. The idea was a sound one. It would be dangerous for him to go back to his apartment. If anything he was more-than-likely under surveillance of some kind and he certainly didn’t want to lead anyone who was after him here. Besides, curiosity was getting the better of him, and this man sitting in front of him had the potential to be much more intriguing, even more so than the people out to kill Lucas.

“Very well. There is nothing of value I need at my apartment except for my clothes, but I don’t want to risk going and getting them. Too dangerous.” Lucas leaned forward, elbows on the table, watching Ned closely, but not being blatant about it or anything.

“I can go get you a few things,” Olive declared exiting the kitchen. She was dressed in a bright yellow knee length dress with small orange and green flowers on it.

“He just said it was dangerous, Olive,” Ned stated. He finally looked up from his world-fixing cup of coffee. 

“How will anyone know I am not there visiting a friend in the building?” She looked at him as if he were daft. “Are they waiting at the door to make sure?”

Ned couldn’t argue with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously the whole 'wraith' thing is made up. I just wanted to give a name for what Ned is and I would think that if there were more like him, a spy would know about it.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Kudos are great! Comments are welcome.
> 
> Thank you lost_kitty!!!


	5. Room And Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olive wants to retrieve Lucas' belongings in spite of the danger while Lucas is trying to figure out what to tell Harry.

“They could have the place monitored,” Lucas said. He had a feeling though that what he was saying was falling on deaf ears.

“I’ll be careful.” Olive was not about to listen to reason.

“If they are monitoring my apartment, they will know when you go in, and they will follow you back here when you leave.” Lucas was not about to let it go either. 

“See?” Ned was nodding emphatically. “He knows what he is talking about, Olive. You can’t go there.”

Olive was pouting, but she was beginning to appreciate what was being said to her. These were dangerous people they were dealing with, although she and Ned had dealt with dangerous people before, just not spy people, highly-trained-to-kill-you people.

“I suppose,” she said with a sigh. She obviously wasn’t too happy about it. She turned and went back into the kitchen to sulk and, Ned knew, to think of some way around Lucas’ logic.

“She won’t let it go,” Ned stated. His eyes finally met Lucas’. “I know her.”

Lucas nodded again. Another half smile also. “We’ll just have to keep an eye on her. Are there apartments above us?”

Ned nodded, folding his arms on the table. “No one lives here but Olive and me. I am sure I can find you one with decent wallpaper. Most rooms are rather gaudy.” He smiled briefly before once again finding something interesting in his coffee.

“Well, if you don’t mind, I could go for a few hours of sleep.”

Ned nodded. “Sorry.” Ned slid, with an adept amount of grace, out of the booth. “I’ll show you up. I am sure there is a room with wallpaper that won’t give you nightmares.” The smile was back again, a rather shy one this time. Lucas was smiling again himself. What the hell was the matter with him?

______________

Lucas followed Ned up the back flight of stairs to the second floor of the building. He pointed out Olive’s room and then his own as they went down the hallway. 

Two doors down from Ned’s room, and four doors down from Olive’s, proved to be one with moderately normal and not so vibrant wallpaper. Compared to the other rooms they had checked out which had been draped in bright yellow and lavender, this room was a medium but not bright blue. Lucas could live with that.

“The lights from the street shine into the rooms on the other side of the hall, so we don’t use them,” Ned explained from the door. He was standing just inside, his hands in his pockets, looking around. “The shower and everything works. There should be towels. If not there are some in my room. You can help yourself. If you need anything, just let me know.”

He looked up at Lucas, hovered just a few seconds, then nodded again, and was out the door quickly, shutting it softly behind him.

Lucas shook his head. He was confused and not used to that. What was it about Ned that intrigued him so? Granted, the other man was not only a wraith, with an ability that could be very useful in the future, and he also dressed up very convincingly as a woman, singing and dancing in a club a few nights a week, but there was something else. Something Lucas could not put his finger on. 

Deciding to let it go for now, he pulled his phone from his pocket and began to dial Harry’s number, but thought better of it and tossed it into a chair instead. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to his former boss, and he also wasn’t sure what to tell him. While sitting in the booth with Ned, he had thought that telling Harry about Ned’s ability would be the right thing to do. But now, he wasn’t so sure. There was not telling what would happen to Ned if others knew about his ability, and Harry would be obligated to pass that along to the higher ups. 

Lucas told himself that it would be nothing but a hassle; one that Ned had not asked for, so keeping everything under wraps would be the logical thing to do. No one needed to know anything. When Lucas decided to report to Harry, he would just have to figure out a way to say it without bringing Ned into it at all.

But there was more to it than that. He realized that as he took off his coat, laying it across a chair, and his shoes which he placed side by side next to the same chair. As he made his way to the bed, and fell on it without caring or bothering to draw back the covers, he realized why he was so determined to keep Ned from Harry.

Plain and simple. He was protecting the other man.

________________________

While Ned retired to his room to get some much needed rest, Olive was left to her own devices, and it was not a good thing for her to be left alone to.

She kept thinking if she could just go to Lucas’ apartment and get in, she could get out rather quickly before anyone saw her. She was little and unassuming. She could pull it off. She knew she could.

But she wasn’t sure where Lucas lived. Smart man failing to mention that to her. Damn!

_______________________

When Ned woke up, he realized that something was different than it usually was.

His shower was running. 

He sat up and glanced at the door to the bathroom, and sure enough, steam was floating out the open door. For a moment he was very confused about why this was happening. It certainly wasn’t Olive; she had her own shower and it worked fine. So that left just one other person.

Lucas. Lucas was in his room. Lucas was using his shower. Lucas was…

Ned jumped out of his bed and looked around for his clothing. He had on a pair of pajama bottoms, one of the many he owned that were plaid design. He was turning in a circle trying to find his shirt. Where could it be? He had taken it off in this room, hadn’t he? 

He froze as silence filled the room. The shower had been shut off. 

He should leave. Just leave. Go on downstairs half-dressed and start making pies. It was nearly 6 in the morning. He was a little behind schedule as it was. He should just go and go quickly.

He found his shirt, and was preparing to put it on. He just had to turn. He just had to turn toward the bathroom door.

There was Lucas, standing there in nothing but a towel, his skin, and hair still wet. Ned opened his mouth to say something, anything, hoping that what decided to be produced was not stupid or embarrassing when he noticed the tattoos. Not that his eyes had been roving down or anything. Okay, they had been, completely against his mental orders to them not to, but they hadn’t been listening at all.

“Those are nice,” he said, motioning vaguely with his free hand. The other still held his shirt. He glanced up suddenly, meeting Lucas’ eyes, those damn blue eyes, and Lucas was smiling, a very strange smile to be sure. Ned’s mouth opened in a gasp. “I meant the tattoos. The tattoos…I…” He trailed off, a short between his brain and his mouth.

“I got them while I was held in a Russian prison for 8 years,” Lucas stated. He was enjoying Ned being so awkward. It was…what was the word he was looking for?

“Held…Russian…prison…8…years.” Ned repeated it slowly as if absorbing it. “I…don’t really know what to say. It must have been hell.” Ned’s visage softened, the awkwardness and shyness leaving. He looked Lucas in eyes solidly. “I’m sorry.”

“Wasn’t your fault,” Lucas said sincerely. “I’m sorry about the shower, mate. The water in my room only runs rust colored and cold. I couldn’t get into the other rooms.” That was a lie; he could have picked the locks without any problems. “You were asleep so I just helped myself.”

“No problem.” Awkwardness back at full power. Ned hastily put on his shirt, which Lucas found himself thinking was a shame. “Um, you can use it any time you need. I don’t know anything about plumbing. But feel free…no matter what time…I have to go. I have to bake pies.” 

_Damn, he can move fast_ , Lucas thought to himself as Ned literally flew out the door. Lucas chuckled to himself. As if things weren’t interesting enough around this place, now he had to go and actually enjoy seeing Ned not only flustered (which happened quite often), but half dressed. 

He found himself hoping that both happened again and more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Calpernia in this chapter. She will show up in the chapter after next, and things get...interesting.
> 
> Thanks to lost_kitty for being my beta.  
> And thanks to everyone reading this fic, leaving kudos, and comments!


	6. Stating the Obvious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas is still thinking. Ned is being Ned.

Two days later and nothing much had changed. Lucas would not give Olive the address of his apartment, but she had not given up on her self-appointed mission. Unfortunately for her, he had left for a few hours and returned with some new clothing and other items that he would need. The man was not making this easy on her.

She also had a sense that there was some kind of undercurrent that she was missing. Or, would have missed if it hadn’t been for Ned asking her what he had asked her the morning after Lucas took a room upstairs.

“Do you think it would be strange for me to be attracted to another guy? Let’s say a British guy who used to be a spy who is at this very moment upstairs in my room in nothing but a towel. And, oh yeah, by the way, he has tattoos that he got while he was being held prisoner in Russia for 8 years, but they are nice tattoos and I didn’t want to stare, but I couldn’t help it, and I don’t know why this is happening. I don’t know the man. I barely know him at all. Help me.”

In spite of the fact that this was all said in the span of about 20 seconds, Olive had managed to keep up and make sense of it. She just rolled her eyes at him and slapped him on the arm. “Of course it is not strange, sweetie, and you don’t need any help.”

But while Ned was all flustered with it, Lucas seemed to not be concerned about it at all, and Olive was pretty damn sure that this wasn’t just a one-sided thing either. Lucas’ eyes followed Ned whenever he entered the room. Once Ned left the room, Lucas returned to looking out the window from where he sat in the booth farthest back in the room. Keeping guard was what he was doing. Olive wasn’t stupid. The ex-spy was keeping a watch out for anyone suspicious just in case. It made Ned even more nervous. Olive thought it was sweet.

_____________________________

Lucas had yet to contact Harry, even though the man had called him several times. Lucas was still unsure of what to tell the man. He was still trying to figure out exactly how to give him the information that Ned and Olive had learned from Glen Marlow, a very dead Glen Marlow, without bringing Ned and his ability into the conversation at all. He didn’t think it imperative that Harry or MI-5 know that bit of info at the moment, if ever at all. 

So caught up in his own thoughts, he was almost startled when Ned suddenly slid into the seat across from him, setting a cup of coffee down on the table. The man who seemed so ungainly at times, could move rather silently when he wished, and sneaking up on an (ex) spy was not an easy thing to do.

“I can’t help but notice that when your phone rings, you don’t even bother to look at it. Seeing as how there are only three people that know you are alive, and one of them is talking to you right at this moment and the second one is in the kitchen singing the theme song to _Skyfall_ , that leaves only one. That makes me think that you don’t want to talk to your ex-boss because you don’t know what to tell him, or how to tell him about me and what I can do, but you can’t think of any other way to explain to him how you came by this information seeing as Marlow was already dead when your ex-boss asked you to look into it.” 

Lucas was looking at Ned with what he knew was a look he did not bestow upon anyone very often; a look of bewilderment, amusement, and how-the-hell-does-he-know-these-things. Ned was turning out to be a welcome surprise more and more every hour that Lucas knew him. 

“I think it best not to tell Harry about you and what you can do,” Lucas admitted.

“What will happen if you don’t report in? Will he send someone?” Ned shrugged slowly, shaking his head, the physical equivalent of a question mark.

“No. I am supposed to be dead, and Harry played a large part in that deception. If I was found out to be alive, the consequences would be dire for the both of us.” Lucas took a sip of his coffee and found it cold. He grimaced at the taste. 

Ned pushed the cup he had brought with him when he had sat down across the table toward Lucas, and then took the nearly empty cup of cold coffee back to his side. Lucas tipped his head in appreciation. 

“But you still have to find out who these people are,” Ned commented, folding his arms one over the other on the table surface. There was a different air about him. The shy, awkward bloke was not so shy and awkward now. He seemed very determined and focused. Lucas wondered if he was on any medication. “You still have to find out so they can _not_ kill you.” Ned leaned toward Lucas just a bit more and lowered his voice. “You’re going to go find them. At least one of them and make him tell you what you want to know, but even I know that might not work. Trained spy, I am sure you know ways to make people talk, but these guys are trained also, and thus were probably trained not to talk. What I am saying is it might be best to just lure one somewhere, kill him, and then I’ll…make him talk. I can do that…you know.” Awkwardness sneaking back in, but only a little.

“You would be willing to do that?” Lucas was a bit surprised.

“Well, I don’t like to do it, not as much as I did before. Doing it. Not the liking it part.” He clamped his mouth shut, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. “What I meant to say was that even though I don’t like to do it that I will do it because I can’t…I mean, I won’t…” He sighed again; chin coming to rest on his folded arms. This lasted for only a few more moments before his head shot up once more. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” 

The words spoken after that were a jumble of words Lucas doubted were part of any language. Just bashful nonsense. There was a distinctive blush to his cheeks that was quite…adorable. Lucas couldn’t help but smile, taking a sip of the coffee Ned had given him. 

“Ned! There’s something wrong with the oven!” Olive bellowed in a squeaky, panicky way from the kitchen.

“Oh, thank you!” Ned practically bolted out of the booth. Before he flew to the kitchen, he stopped, half turned, his eyes avoiding Lucas’ expertly. “If you need me to get someone to talk, just let me know. Don’t…do anything stupid. Just come and get me and I will do what I do.” And then he was gone into the kitchen, Olive shrieking as smoke began to waft from the kitchen and the fire alarm went off.


	7. Covert Ops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas enlists Calpernia's help when he is being tailed.

Two weeks later, that Thursday night, as Ned was making his way back to the dressing room after finishing up his last performance of the night as Calpernia, Agnus approached him in the hallway. 

“Sweetheart,” the woman said. Agnus was really a 52-year-old construction worker with a wife and 3 kids. His wife knew what he did. Sometimes, if she could find a babysitter, she came to watch him put on his act. “Your man is waiting for you back by the EXIT door. He’s British. Lucky you.” Agnus patted Calpernia on the shoulder before retreating to take her turn on stage.

Calpernia made her way to the EXIT door and sure enough there stood Lucas, hands in his coat pockets, eyes trained on her as she came into his view. Oh! She forgot to point out that Lucas wasn’t ‘her man’. She would have to correct that…sometime…later.

“What are you doing here?”

“How would you feel about a little covert ops?” Lucas cocked an eyebrow in question. 

“Covert ops?” Calpernia said the words slowly, wrapping her tongue about each syllable. This made Lucas’ eyebrow raise even higher and a smile appear on his face. Calpernia returned the smile. “Let me freshen up and get my walking shoes.”

“Take your time,” Lucas said as she walked by him to the dressing room. “We’ve got all night.”  
________________________________

20 minutes later, Calpernia reappeared and Lucas opened the door for her out into the alleyway. Gone was the stage gown that was tight and sparkly and in its place was a pale blue, loose skirted dress that went to mid calf. She wore a white shawl on her shoulders and flat-heeled shoes. Lucas had to admit, she looked amazing. He could almost forget that this was a man and not a woman. Almost.

“So, what are we doing?” 

“I’ve picked up a tail. He is standing out front waiting for me to come out.” Lucas explained rather nonchalantly, like he did this kinda thing every day. And he really had. “I was hoping to bring them out in the open. Maybe have a chat with them, but I have to make sure of who they are first. So, we are going to play this carefully, alright?”

Calpernia nodded in agreement. Lucas offered her his arm and Calpernia, smiling, the blush on her cheeks not all applied cosmetics, took it. “What do you want me to do?”

“Just act natural.” Lucas instructed as they began walking toward the street. 

“Natural for me is ‘Ned’,” Calpernia reminded him, adjusting the shawl in the cool wind. “I don’t think you want that at the moment.”

“You know what I mean.”

To Ned, that was the great thing about being able to be Calpernia. She was bold where he was shy and confident where he was awkward. He had thought a lot about setting her aside and just being himself all the time, but he hadn’t been able to and at this moment he was very glad he hadn’t. Stepping out on that street, knowing that there could be a trained killer following them, would have sent Ned into near panic. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to pull off ‘acting normal’ and the entire thing would have gone horribly wrong, more-than-likely.

But Calpernia handled it just fine. She may have held onto Lucas’ arm just a little tighter than was necessary, and walked just a teeny bit closer than was called for, her hip brushing against his when she stepped, but other than that she was cool as could be. 

“Where are we going?” Shawl not in threat of falling to the ground, she brought her other hand over and placed it on the muscle, very firm muscle, of Lucas’ upper arm. 

“First, we are going to go around the corner and duck into the alleyway. I want to get this man in front of us. I can get the jump on him better that way.”

Once around the corner, Lucas took her hand and they dashed down the block and into the alleyway there. Calpernia was glad she had picked these shoes as they didn’t _click_ on the pavement. Once inside the alleyway, Lucas pulled Calpernia toward a small alcove, an indent about two feet deep and three feet wide in the wall. He spun Calpernia into it, pressing her back into the corner and then proceeded to use his body to not only shield her, but to push her into the wall farther.

“Shh.” He breathed into her ear and she couldn’t control the shiver that ran down her spine. “Just be as quiet and still as you can.”

Ned couldn’t help it. Lucas’ body pressed up against his was incredibly arousing even in light of the situation. He shifted a little, cursing himself when he did, because it had not helped him one bit. If anything, it had only made things worse. He could smell the man’s aftershave; feel his body move while breathing. For once in all the time he had been Calpernia, he wished that the fake breasts weren’t fake. But they were and nothing was going to change that, so he could only imagine how wonderful they would feel pressed up against the other man’s chest. 

“You’re doing good,” Lucas whispered once again. His breath ghosted across the skin behind Ned’s ear and this time his body physically trembled. There was no way in hell Lucas missed that. “Just a little while longer.”

“I don’t mind,” Calpernia whispered back and Ned couldn’t help but be shocked at her boldness. She never ceased to surprise him. 

Lucas chuckled, a low mischievous chuckle that made Calpernia (Ned) squirm ever so slightly. It was enough to get another chuckle, warm air once again caressing her ear. 

And of course, just as it was getting interesting, footfalls could be heard coming closer. Flirting forgotten (Ned couldn’t believe he was _flirting_ with another man), they both held their breath as the footfalls stopped at the entrance to the alleyway. Able to see over Lucas’ shoulder, Calpernia could see a shadow stretching across the ground, unmoving. 

After what seemed like so much longer, but was really only 30 seconds or so, the shadow moved on, passing the alleyway and the footfalls began to retreat down the street. 

“We had better go,” Lucas said. Much to her dismay, he stepped away from Calpernia. But he took her hand in his and pulled her out of the alcove, and in doing so, he pulled just a little bit harder than he needed to, and her body bumped into his. He caught her around the waist, his blue eyes holding hers as his arms held her body. Ned didn’t understand why it was, but he knew what was happening. And for some reason whatever panicky doubts he’d had were no longer a concern for him anymore. 

“I have to get this guy,” Lucas said. There was reluctance written all over his features and laced in his voice. “I really need to.” It sounded as if he were begging.

“Okay,” Ned whispered. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, to take that step back, letting the cool air come between them, but this was important. Level head and all.


	8. Hidden In Plain Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sneaking around. And a little bit of something at the end. Just a little bit.

Lucas led Calpernia out of the alley and down another block to the bar. The entire time they walked, he kept his arm around her waist, his hand resting on her left hip. Ned wished that he could feel it through the fake enhancement that gave him fuller, more feminine, hips, but apparently just the knowledge that it was there was good enough. That was until Lucas shifted his hand so that they were splayed above the hip, where the flesh was very much real. 

Once inside the bar, Lucas picked a table practically in the center of the room. The entire bar was done in black lacquer with red overtones that were striking. Ned gazed around enjoying the décor as Lucas pulled his chair out for him. As Lucas was helping Ned reposition the chair closer to the table, he leaned down and whispered in Ned’s ear: “You know everyone is looking at you, right?”

No, Ned had not known that. As Lucas walked around the table to his chair, Ned used the guise of looking up at him, smiling fondly, as casual and natural as a woman having a drink with a man, to subtly look about the room. People were definitely looking at him, or Calpernia, and she had no problem with that whatsoever. 

Calpernia, paying no heed to the eyes on her but seeming to bask in it, leaned her chin into her hand as the waitress came to the table.

“A glass of Bordeaux for the lady and vodka on the rocks for me.” The waitress bounced off to get the drinks. 

“So, why, if I may ask,” Calpernia began, leaning a little bit closer still. “Do you have your back to the door?”

Lucas gave her that half grin once again, reaching across the table to take her free hand in his, entangling their fingers together, as he leaned closer as well. “You see, love, if I have my back to the door, then the people following me will think that I’m unaware I am being followed.” His other hand came up and, using his knuckles, brushed the Calpernia’s hair from her brow and then ran those knuckles over her cheek, all the while looking her in the eyes. “So, that is why I need you to keep a lookout for anyone suspicious who comes in.” 

The bar was not overly noisy, but it was just enough to warrant them leaning so close to be heard. The table they sat at was not more than a foot and a half across and square. There was a bowl of water in the center of the table, several red votive candles floating on the surface of the water. All in all, a nice romantic place. It made Ned all warm inside to know that, while this was still a covert operation in a way, that not all of it was just an act. He _knew_ it wasn’t. 

Calpernia nodded in agreement. “How long do we wait for someone _suspicious_?”

“It shouldn’t be too long.” Lucas brushed the pad of his thumb against the end of her nose. Calpernia giggled. “And once they arrive, we are going to keep talking and laughing like we haven’t got a bloody clue, alright?” 

Calpernia nodded again. Lucas glanced around the room, smiled and nodded to a few people that he didn’t know, in agreement and acknowledgement of what the other men in the room were silently telling him with nods and, every once in a while, a raising of their glasses in his direction.

“What are they doing that for?” Calpernia could see some of the gestures out of the corner of her eyes.

“They’re expressing their appreciation and how lucky I am to be with such a beautiful woman,” Lucas answered. 

“I try to avoid scrutiny. Many of these people are a lot closer than the people who watch me on stage.” Calpernia, with all her self-assurance, was letting a little bit of Ned sneak in. “If they look close enough or if I move a certain way, someone is bound to notice I have an Adam’s apple.”

Lucas shrugged. “So?”

“ _So_?” Calpernia shifted her chin, letting her hair and her arm hide her neck. “I doubt that the looks they would be giving you then would be appreciative.” Lucas shrugged again, his features showing her that he really wasn’t concerned. “It wouldn’t bother you that these people know that I’m not really a woman?”

“Why should it?” Lucas answered and then looked up. The waitress returned with their drinks. When she was gone, Lucas turned his attention back to Calpernia. “Why do you think it would bother me? It wouldn’t at all, because you are beautiful. All of you, both inside and out. No matter what you wear or what name you go by.”

Ned, for a moment, was speechless. Lucas wasn’t talking just about Calpernia, but him also. 

Just as Ned was trying to wrap his head around everything that was going on with this man, the door opened and in walked a suspicious person if he had ever seen one. He was bald with two day stubble, and dressed in a dark gray suit. Ned glanced at him briefly, casually, and saw the man’s eyes find Lucas and then shift away.

“I think he’s here.” Lucas’ gaze shifted to a point over Calpernia’s shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s him,” he confirmed. Ned remembered seeing a mirror on the back wall when he had been surveying the décor. Lucas continued to watch over his shoulder, glancing back and forth between the mirror and Calpernia. “Just a little while longer. Finish your wine, love. It’s expensive.”

Calpernia chuckled; charade must be kept up and all, and took another drink of her wine. It was very nice and smooth. Not being one that drank very often, and certainly not something of this caliber, it was nice in spite of the situation to sit and enjoy it.

“He’s sitting in the corner, back to the wall,” Calpernia whispered. With one hand still entwined with Lucas’, she was forced to drink with the hand that had been giving her a shield against eyes that looked too closely. Setting down the wine glass, she reached over and began playing with the top button on Lucas’ collar, thus hitching her shoulders up. 

“Good. There won’t be any doubt to his seeing us leave.”

Wine and vodka finished, Ned tried not to notice how much money was put down to pay for the two drinks. Lucas came around and pulled the chair out, offering his hand to Calpernia which she took and stood. He then placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the door. She kept her eyes on the door and as they approached, Lucas pulled it open for her and then they were outside and on the street.

“You’re doing great, love.” He came over to her right side, putting his arm around her once again. “Not much longer, I promise.” He pulled her close to his side, nuzzling the hair behind her ear. “I won’t let anything happen to you, alright.”

Calpernia nodded, humming in agreement, not worried at all really. Around the corner and half way down the street, Lucas pulled to a stop in front of a closed store. Even with the security gate in place, the alcove for the door was deep. For the first time, Calpernia heard the sound of footsteps not far behind them, still around the corner, but coming closer.

“In here,” Lucas said, gently but quickly pushing her into the alcove, once again with her back against the wall. He leaned in close to her, the footfalls still getting closer, sounding as if they had sped up. “Whatever happens, you stay right here. Don’t move.” Calpernia nodded. The footsteps sounded as if they would turn the corner any second now, and then, out of nowhere, warm lips were on hers, a body holding her own against the wall. 

And it wasn’t a gentle, close mouthed kiss of friends or of ‘just doing it because we are being followed by a killer’ kind of kiss. Lucas prodded and Calpernia opened her mouth allowing his tongue inside to caress hers. His hands were on her face, fingers splayed on the side of her head, in her hair, thumbs stroking her temples. She put her arms around him, hands latching on to his shoulder blades, kissing back after just a few seconds of shock, tongue dueling with his. If this _was_ just a fake kiss, it was still an amazingly mind-numbing one.

Then Lucas pulled away suddenly. His eyes looked deep into hers. Both were breathing hard and Calpernia’s lips were tingling and she could still taste him mingling with the wine, and her knees were weak and trembling. The only sound she could hear was their collective breathing.

“Stay here.” He kissed her again, this time quickly, though the kiss before had not lasted nearly as long as it had felt it had. Footfalls, so close now. Nearly upon them. “I’ll be right back. Ned, trust me.”

And then he was gone and the sounds of a struggle could be heard, and as bad as Calpernia wanted to peer around the corner, she did not. She just clutched the shawl tighter around her shoulders and hoped and prayed that everything was going to be alright. She didn’t want to have to touch Lucas to bring him back, and then never be able to touch him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone once again!!!
> 
> It is going to get heated up soon.


	9. Not Supposed to Happen

The sounds of a struggle were getting father away, and then, out of nowhere, a gunshot blasted, sharp and loud in the night air. Calpernia gasped, and, unable to stay put, stepped closer to the edge and peered around. 

She could see in the light from the street lamps that Lucas was leaning down, hands on his knees, rear end up against the wall. The man that had been following them lay sprawled on the ground, the gun still in his hand.

“Are you alright?” She came around the corner, forgetting her shawl even as it slid off of her shoulder and to the ground. As she came toward Lucas, he stood up straight, putting his back against the wall. He leaned his head back, eyes closed, and grimaced. “What is it? Where are you hurt?” She asked as she ran her hands over his arms and chest, checking to see where he was injured.

“I’m fine. Just a few cracked ribs,” he answered. He drew in a deep breath and gritted his teeth together, letting the breath out between his teeth in a hiss of pain. “We haven’t got much time. Someone had to have heard the gunshot and called the police.” He reached up and took both her hands in his. Off in the distance, right on cue, the sound of a siren could be heard. “We have to hurry.”

Calpernia nodded, stepping away from him and looking down at the body. She knelt down, taking a deep breath, and touched the dead man on the forehead. And…

Nothing. Not a flinch or any sign of stirring. Usually they sat right up and began to look around, but this man was showing not even the slightest signs of returning to life. 

“Wait. I don’t understand. Why is it not working?” She touched him again, but still, nothing happened. His skin felt odd, even in the brief time her finger touched him. The sirens were getting closer.

“Come on, love,” Lucas whispered in her ear as he bent over to pick up the gun. He put it in his coat pocket and then, taking Calpernia by the arm, helped her up. “We’ll figure it out later. Right now, we need to go.” 

Calpernia allowed him to lead her down the street in the direction they had been going before, stopping to collect her shawl. Once around the corner and down another two blocks before they stopped once again. Turning to look back, she could see the lights flashing from the police car that had arrived on the scene, the siren having been turned off. 

Lucas pulled her into another doorway. He collapsed against her almost instantly and she realized he was in much more pain that he had let on. 

“We need to get you to a hospital.” The voice was Ned’s, not Calpernia’s. 

“No!” Lucas shook his head sternly. “No hospitals. I’ll be fine. We just need to get back to the Pie Hole.”

Checking back the way they had come, they took to the street again, only this time Ned made sure they took their time as to not cause Lucas any more discomfort. The ex-spy did not argue, and he almost seemed relieved. 

They finally made it to the Pie Hole and Ned unlocked the back door as quietly as possible. He had seen from the street that Olive’s light was not on and he wanted to keep it that way. He wasn’t in the mood to answer any of her questions. 

He helped Lucas upstairs and to his room. Once he sat down, Ned disappeared downstairs once more only to return with some Extra Strength Excedrin and a glass of water.

“I have some cloth bandages. You should at least let me wrap up your ribs.” Ned, in Calpernia’s clothing, had a no-argument attitude that Lucas was not about to argue with. He nodded his agreement. Ned then disappeared into another room. He came back with the bandages to find Lucas in the process of trying to remove his jacket, but not having much luck, the pain in his ribs causing him to hiss sharply. “Here, let me help.”

As carefully as possible, Ned managed to get Lucas’ jacket and shirt off. He winced when he saw the dark purple bruising on the other man’s left side. It was extensive, much more than Ned would have thought.

“A few ribs?” Ned barely touched the bruised area and Lucas jerked away, which caused him to curse when the movement jarred his injury. “Lucas, you need to have this looked at. What did that man hit you with? A baseball bat? A 2x4?”

“His fist,” Lucas answered, leaning his head back against the couch. “He was strong. _Very_ strong. It was only by sheer luck that he pulled the trigger when the gun was turned toward him when we were struggling for it. Another second longer and I would’ve been the one dead on the sidewalk. Not him.”

Ned didn’t want to think about that, not at all. “I don’t understand why it didn’t work,” he whispered as Lucas sat up so he could wrap the bandages tight about his ribs. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to do this gently and it have the desired effect, so he went about it as quickly as he could, whispering “I’m sorry” every time Lucas winced. “It has never _not_ worked before.” He shook his head in confusion, fixing the bandage with the tiny clamps to keep it in place. 

Lucas sat back once again, breathing a little better now that the bandages were in place. He had been injured before, and much worse. He knew the pain would pass in time. But with what was going on, he knew that the time he needed to heal might not be something he could afford. He could not explain either why Ned’s ability to bring back the dead had not, in fact, brought back the dead. And there was no one that he could turn to or any other way to find out why.

“I don’t know what to say,” Lucas admitted. “If you don’t know, then I certainly don’t.”

Ned got up from his place kneeling on the floor and sat on the couch next to the ex-spy. When he looked down at himself, he realized that he was still wearing the dress. He sighed, knowing he should get up and change, but he felt exhausted all of the sudden and didn’t want to move.

“We’ll figure it out. Alright?” Lucas took Ned’s hand in his and held it tightly. 

Ned looked over at the other man. Lucas’s eyes were closed, his breathing even, and Ned realized he was going to sleep. Not the most ideal place to sleep, but then he supposed that lying down with his ribs the way they were was not an option. Lightly squeezing the hand that held his, Ned lay his head on Lucas’ shoulder, glad that he was on the opposite side of the ex-spy’s injured side, and soon drifted off to sleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff to come soon. I promise! Thanks to my sis, lost_kitty, for her input and editing!
> 
> And thanks for the kudos and comments.


	10. Nightmare Waking

_Water._

_Drip. Drip._

_There was no way for him to avoid it. They had him strapped down, his head secured to prevent him from moving it out of the way of the constant drip of water. His face was covered, but he could still see the light they had fixed on him. A light so bright that he could not look into it directly. He shut his eyes, struggling against the bonds that held him, trying desperately to move, wanting the constant drip drip to stop, and all the while they asked him questions. Questions about things that he had no idea how to answer. And they kept asking and kept asking and all the while he was screaming for it all to stop, but it didn’t._

There was a hand on his arm. Gentle but firm and it was shaking him. Shaking him to wake him up. Making the nightmare stop.

He opened his eyes to find Ned looking down at him. Even in spite of the other man’s presence, it still took Lucas a few moments to get it straight in his head where he was. That he was not still in that prison on the other side of the world. That he was in an apartment over a place called the Pie Hole in America. He was safe. 

“Are you okay?” Ned was asking. His face was consumed with concern. Eyes that seemed to change color whenever they felt the need were full of worry. “You were having a nightmare.”

Lucas began to sit up. He had fallen asleep on the couch after he and Calpernia had led a Russian assassin about the town. A Russian assassin who would not return from the dead to give Lucas the information he needed. They had come back here, to Ned’s room, where Calpernia had bandaged his cracked ribs, and then they had fallen asleep. He remembered that now: Ned dressed as a woman, asleep with his head on Lucas’s shoulder. He remembered quite a few other things, too.

Sitting in a bar while holding hands. A body so close to his as they had walked. An alcove in an alley. The most amazing kiss he had ever known. Pressing Ned’s body against the wall, wanting to do nothing but devour him whole. Yes, it had appeared that it was Calpernia’s body that he was holding, pushing up against and that it was her lips that he had been kissing, her tongue in his mouth, her breath in his lungs, but he knew damn well the entire time that it had been Ned he had been doing all those things to and with.

And now, looking up into his eyes, remembering how his body had felt against his, how his lips had tasted, he wanted to reach up and grab the other man. Pull him down and kiss him again and again and then do a myriad of other things to the other man that he had never even thought about doing to another man before, but almost desperately wanted to do now.

And he was going to. That was his intention, but when he moved, his ribs protested, sending a shockwave of pain through his body.

“Bloody fucking hell!” He swore. His body went completely still, waiting for the pain to pass.

“Can I get you anything?” Ned was standing up, moving away. “I have some more aspirin for the pain. You really should go to the hospital. How about some coffee? Or tea? The British like tea, don’t you? I might have something, you know, more exotic than just Lipton. I am sure Olive does or, if not, I can send her out to get some.” Ned was babbling. In spite of the pain, Lucas began to laugh, which only caused more discomfort.

“The aspirin will do,” Lucas said. He took a deep breath and tried to sit up again. Halfway up, the pain was almost unbearable and he felt as he were about to lose consciousness. 

“I really don’t think you should be moving more than is absolutely necessary.” Ned helped him sit up all the way. Lucas closed his eyes, and took deep breaths to fight not only the threat of blacking out, but now he had a distinct notion to throw up. “You’re pale.” He felt Ned’s hand on his face, cool skin, and gentle touches. “And clammy. You have to let me take you to the hospital.”

Lucas was starting to think that was a good idea, but there was no way he was going to make it off the couch, let alone down a flight of stairs without passing out. 

“I don’t much feel like moving right now,” Lucas said. Even to him, his voice sounded strained and weak. 

“Then don’t! I’m going to call an ambulance to come and get you and take you to the hospital.” Lucas couldn’t have protested even if he had wanted to. It was obvious to him now that he had been lying to both himself and Ned; his ribs were not bruised or cracked – they were broken, and it was several of them, not just a few. He could be bleeding internally for all he knew. At least he was sure, a lung was not punctured. 

He heard Ned on the phone, telling the 911 operator that a man had broken into the Pie Hole early this morning and that his friend had fought him off, but not before hitting him in the ribs, which he thought were broken. Then Ned was back by his side.

“I told them that you thought they were just cracked, but after sleeping a few hours, you woke up in pain. They are on their way.” Hands were on his face again, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “I am going to go get Olive and then go break the backdoor to make it look good.”

Lucas wanted to chuckle at that, but he knew he couldn’t. He had been shot and stabbed so many times in his life as a spy. Hell, he had thrown himself off of a building onto a bloody car. But this pain was rivaling them all at the moment.

“Not too long after I had been returned to MI-5,” Lucas began, trying to keep his mind focused. “There was a Russian sleeper cell in London and one of them had been activated to set off a nuclear bomb to destroy the city. A sniper shot me and I had to run through the old subway station with a bullet lodged in my side, bleeding all the way.”

“Are you saying that it was preferable to what you are feeling now?” 

“Yeah. That is exactly what I am saying.” Lucas nodded, managing a smile. He could hear sirens in the distance. “You really need to go take care of the backdoor.”

“Yeah.” Ned agreed. “You just stay here. You’re going to be fine.” He cupped Lucas’ cheek once again, and then was up, yelling for Olive as the sirens grew closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I am going to get to the good stuff and soon!!
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading!!
> 
> Thanks, sis, for being my beta!


	11. Hospital Food

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just felt the need to point out that I own nothing and am making no money off of this. This is just for kicks, and I certainly do not mean to offend anyone or embarrass anyone or fuck things up in anyway. Enjoy!

“Lucky for your friend,” the doctor was explaining, “there are only two ribs that have incomplete fractures. Two others are only cracked.” The doctor was closely examining the x-rays displayed on the light panel. “Whoever hit you was strong. A boxer maybe.” The man shook his head. “All-in-all, it could have been much worse. There is no internal bleeding or organ damage. Take it easy for the next 6 weeks and you’ll be as good as new.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Ned shook the man’s hand.

“You’ll be given a prescription of pain medication and NSAID when you are checked out. Don’t be afraid to take the medication. You are gonna be in a lot of pain for the next month and a half.”

Once the doctor was gone, Ned sat on the edge of Lucas’ hospital bed. “6 bloody weeks,” Lucas mumbled. “How am I supposed to do my job if I am laid up for 6 fucking weeks?”

“Well, for one, it isn’t your job anymore. Retired, remember?” 

“Tell that to Harry,” Lucas said. He was already sick and tired of being in the hospital. “How bloody long am I going to have to stay here?”

“Until morning. They want to make sure there is no blood in your urine.” Ned shrugged, a smile bursting out on his face at Lucas rolling his eyes and sighing in irritation. “Olive is going to bring the car in the morning. She is fixing up your room for you so you will be more comfortable.”

“And what are you going to do?” Lucas met the other man’s eyes.

“It’s an off night for Calpernia and Olive can’t run the Pie Hole herself. You saw what happened when I left her alone in the kitchen for 10 minutes.” Ned shrugged again, his eyes focused on his hand as it fiddled with the thin blue blanket draped over Lucas’ legs. “I figured I would stay here. Just in case…you know?”

“Just in case…what?” Lucas was biting the inside of his cheek to keep a straight face at Ned’s discomfort.

Ned stammered for a few moments and then finally, drawing a deep breath, admitted “So you won’t be here by yourself. Among strangers and having to call the nurse if you need something. And I couldn’t be at home and you be here and not wonder or worry about you being here alone. It would drive me crazy.”

He refused to look up. With a little effort Lucas nudged him with his leg, putting a little strength behind it, not trying to push Ned off of the bed, just enough to get his attention. When Ned finally did look up, Lucas’ smile was warm and genuine. 

“Thank you,” he said, feeling a little awkward himself. “Quite honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to being here by myself, even if it is just for one night.”

Ned nodded in understanding. Lucas didn’t have to say anything about Russia or the prison he had been held in for 8 years for Ned to understand that, even though entirely different, being here might bring back bad memories of some kind or another of that time. Also, there were the nightmares to consider. Lucas would much rather be woken from them in the middle of the night by Ned, who knew the reasons for them (some of the reasons), and not by a nurse who might think he needed to be in the psyche ward instead.

“Are they going to let you stay?” Lucas wondered out loud. “Isn’t it only relatives who are allowed to stay?”

Again, Ned blushed, but he was smiling widely this time. “I kinda let them think what they wanted to think and then agreed with it when they asked.”

“And what did they think that you agreed to when asked?” Lucas raised an eyebrow in question.

“I told them that we lived together and that we were asleep when the guy ‘broke in’.” Air quotes. “I told them that you had no relatives, just me, so…” He shrugged. 

“So?” Lucas urged. 

“They think that –”

“Are you ready for lunch?” The nurse entered the room carrying a tray of food. She sat it down on the table and rolled it over, adjusting it to fit over the bed so it was within Lucas’ reach. She was an older woman, grandmotherly in demeanor, with her gray hair in a bun. “There ya go, sweetie. Pain meds are on the way for ya.” She patted Lucas on the leg and then turned to Ned. “Make sure your boyfriend eats all of that and I’ll sneak you a tray of your own in a little while.” She put a finger to her lips, telling Ned to keep it a secret between them, and then she left the room.

Once she was gone, Lucas chuckled. “You heard the lady: you have to make sure I eat all of this if you want to eat. That is what any good boyfriend would do after all.” Even though he was smiling, the look in his eyes was doubtful as he surveyed the food. “I feel the need to wish you ‘good luck’, _lover_.” 

“Does that mean you are going to give me trouble?” Ned asked. He folded his arms over his chest and gave Lucas such a mock look of sternness that Lucas just had to laugh, which then caused him to wince in pain.

“Well, of course I am.” Lucas was not going to let this go easily. “I am exceedingly stubborn. That is one of the things you love about me. Though, physically I’m not going to be able to put up much of a struggle, but I’m not above complaining to no end.”

Ned sighed in exasperation, as mocking as the stern visage previous, and it was very convincing, in spite of the fact that he was still blushing. “Fine. You can complain. But I claim the right to either hit you on the knee or smother you with your own pillow if it gets too much for me to bear any longer. Agreed?”

“Agreed. Our ability to compromise is just one of the reasons our relationship stays so strong.” Lucas said, eyeing the food warily. “And you are just going to have to control yourself, love. I am, after all, injured, and we wouldn’t want the nurse to come in here and find us in a compromising position.”

“I’ll try to keep my hands off of you,” Ned said, playing along. The blush was more prominent now. “Though the smothering of you with the pillow doesn’t count.”

Lucas said after a few seconds of thought. “Just make sure that if you do smoother me with a pillow that you bring me back so you don’t get sent to jail for my murder.” 

Lucas had meant it in jest. Honestly, he had, but the look that crossed over Ned’s face was like a dark cloud that obliterated the sunshine. Lucas knew instantly that he had said something wrong, and regretted it immensely. 

“Ned? I’m sorry. What –”

“No, it’s okay.” Ned stood from his place on Lucas’ bed and went to the door. Lucas thought that he was going to leave and that there was nothing he could do to stop him from it, but he just closed the door and turned back around to Lucas. “It’s just…a long story.”

“I want to hear it, if you want to tell me.” Lucas wanted to know what had caused Ned so much pain. He wanted to understand what had happened and why.

Ned returned to his seat. “When I was a boy, there was this girl who lived next door to me. Her name was Charlotte Charles. I called her ‘Chuck’. We were friends, but over the years, I grew rather fond of her. We lost touch as we got older and then one day I heard that she was dead. She had been murdered on a cruise ship. I brought her back and she lived and worked with Olive and me at the Pie Hole. Since I had brought her back, I couldn’t touch her again. We had a system that worked. And then one day, she stumbled going down the stairs. I reached out to keep her from falling and…” He trailed off, not needing to say anymore. “Maybe not that long of a story.”

“I’m so sorry, Ned,” Lucas said with all sincerity. He wanted to reach out, to offer some sort of comfort, but Ned was farther down on the bed than his ribs would allow him to reach. He also felt that there was more to it, but he didn’t want to interrogate the other man, certainly not now. “I didn’t know or I wouldn’t have said anything like that.”

“No, don’t worry about it, because you didn’t know. I’m sorry for reacting the way I did. It just…” He shrugged. 

Lucas sighed, his appetite suddenly gone. 

Ned unexpectedly smiled. Sadness was still in his eyes, but his smile was genuine. “It’s okay. Really. It is. It just caught me off guard is all. I’m fine. You should eat so you can take your pain meds and get some rest.” He scooted farther up, so he was sitting closer to the tray of food. “Yum!” He exclaimed. “Am I going to have to feed this to you? What do you prefer? Airplane in the hanger? Or the choo-choo train?”

“Neither,” Lucas said, grabbing the fork before Ned could. “Boyfriend or not, I am not going to let you feed me like I’m a child.”

Ned laughed and soon everything was back to normal. At least, as normal as it could get, all things considering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks once again and as always to lost_kitty. Not only for editing but for her suggestions and pointing out the things that I missed. Thanks, sis!!
> 
> And to everyone reading, I appreciate it!!


	12. Tale to Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olive and Lucas tease Ned. Enjoy!

“You keep an eye on these two,” the nurse was telling Olive. The nurse was pushing the wheelchair that Lucas was in, hospital policy, whether he liked it or not. Ned was walking on one side, Olive on the other. 

“Oh, I will,” Olive replied. 

“I think that it is so wonderful a thing to see two people so devoted and in love with one another,” the nurse went on. Olive was looking at her, smiling widely, not phased a bit. Ned tripped over his own feet and crashed into the potted plant that stood near the door, righting it before it fell to the floor. Lucas was trying not to laugh. “Especially in this day and age.”

“I know. It is a sweet and special thing.” Olive threw a smile over her shoulder at Ned who was looking at her, shaking his head, telling her to stop. She didn’t. “Really. It just makes me so happy just knowing how happy they are. And happy they are, aren’t you, Luke?”

“Oh, yes. Very happy. The happiest day of my life was the day I met Ned. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” He couldn’t turn around to see Ned’s face, but he was sure it would have made him laugh much too hard for his ribs to stand anyway.

“Yeah. Happiest day. I will never forget it as long as I live. That was the day I thought Olive was going to die. Horrible accident. She should really be careful around large freezers that lock from the outside.” Ned stated, not sounding threatening in the slightest. Olive understood his words for what they were, however, and kept her mouth shut. Lucas was still trying not to laugh.

“Well, nothing physical for 6 weeks or until he gets better,” the nurse stated, pulling the wheelchair to a stop at the curb where Olive had left the car. “And that means _nothing_ , ya hear?” She waved a finger at Ned. “And it doesn’t matter how you do it or which way; it’s still not going to be comfortable for him at all.”

“Yes, of course, we understand,” Lucas said as Ned went around the nurse and opened the car door. “It’ll be hell, but I’m sure we can restrain ourselves.” 

Ned opened the back door for Olive. She climbed in, smiling widely at him. As soon as Lucas was in the car and they bid farewell to the nurse, Ned got behind the wheel, anxious to get back to the Pie Hole.

“Are we giving off some kind of signal?” It was more of a rhetorical question.

“Yep!” Olive stated, keeping her eyes focused out the window. This time Lucas did laugh. He regretted it instantly.

____________________

Olive knew Ned well enough to know when something was on his mind and when he was trying to figure something out. 

Once Lucas had been released from the hospital and they had brought him home, he had fallen right asleep. The nurse had informed Ned that it would be less painful for Lucas to sleep on the side that his broken ribs were on and that he would also breath better that way. She had also given him instructions as to the proper care of Lucas and his injury. The injured area was to be iced every one to two hours for at least twenty minutes. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but it would help with speeding up his recovery. Ned also had to make sure that Lucas took several deep breaths 3 or more times an hour, breaths as deep as he could stand. This was to help him to not get pneumonia.

Ned had lingered, making sure Lucas was adequately covered up before turning off the light and following Olive out of the room, closing the door softly behind them. As they walked down the hall to the stairs leading down to the Pie Hole, Ned kept his head down, his hands in his pockets. Olive watched him out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing until they were downstairs.

“Somethin’ wrong?” She knew him too well.

Ned turned to her and then turned away again, spinning on his feet like he was part revolving door. Finally he faced her, bunching his shoulders up against his neck, one foot nervously tapping on the floor.

“The other night when Lucas was injured, he and I, or rather he and Calpernia, were in a doorway waiting for the bad guy to catch up so he could jump him, and…” He took a deep breath and dived in. “He kissed me. He kissed Calpernia and I, _she_ , kissed him back. And it was all lips and tongue and it was amazing and a little scary, and I - _she_ \- didn’t want it to end, but it had to because the bad guy was coming and then Lucas said he would be right back and then he kissed me - _her_ \- again and he called me Ned, and then he went to catch the bad guy and you know the rest.”

Olive’s head was tilted sideways and her mouth was agape as if she were waiting for a bug to fly right in. She stood this way for several moments while Ned continued to squirm, and then she let out a squeal all of the sudden, throwing her hands over her mouth as Ned nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Oh my! He kissed you! He actually kissed you?” She kept her voice down, certainly not wanting to wake up the injured ex-spy, as she jumped up and down in place. 

“Well, it could have been just because…” Ned began. 

“Like hell it was!” Olive cut him off. “He had absolutely no reason to do that except that he wanted to.” She may have been nearly a foot shorter than the Piemaker, but that didn’t stop her from walking up to him and poking him hard in the chest. He flinched back from her abuse of his person and his personal space. “Hey! Since when have you been attracted to other guys?” Olive placed her hands on her hips and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

“I don’t know. I never have been before. Not until he came along,” Ned admitted, blushing even more. “I just - I don’t know!”

Olive couldn’t help but smile. “I think it’s sweet. And kinda hot, but not in the kinda hot to where I am going to hang outside my window and hold a mirror taped to a broom handle so I can see into your room hot.”

Ned looked at her strangely. “This is very descriptive to have just flown off the top of your head.”

“No. No, it wasn’t.” Olive slapped him playfully on the arm and then turned her back on him, rolling her eyes, and berating herself. “Anyway, you picked a fine specimen to jump the fence for.”

“So, what do I do?” Ned was practically squirming he was so at odds.

Olive was once again grinning from ear to ear. “That’s easy: if he wants to kiss you again, you kiss him back!”  
______________________

“Deep breaths,” Ned said in reminder. 

Lucas, for the third time in an hour, drew in a breath as deep as he could and let it out. He didn’t want to get pneumonia on top of his already injured ribs, but the pain of breathing deeply was excruciating. Ned, however, was persistent, so Lucas did as he was told without complaining, out loud at least.

When he exhaled, Ned was nice enough to hand him a pain pill and a glass of water. “Are you hungry?”

Lucas nodded, swallowing the pill. The nurse who had discharged him had made damn sure that he understood to take the pills, even when he wasn’t in pain every two hours. “No sense in letting them chase the pain when you can shut the door on it before it gets out.” She had said, or something to that effect. Lucas had been too busy paying attention to everyone around him, wondering if the Russian hit men had any idea he was in the hospital. Being in pain and vulnerable had made everyone suspicious in Lucas’ mind. Good thing Ned had paid attention to the nurse.

“Yeah. I could eat.” Lucas sat back against the pillows that Ned had propped up for him. It hadn’t even been a day since he had left the hospital and already he was tired of sitting around in his room waiting to heal. Not knowing what the enemy knew was even more nerve-wracking. 

Once he was sure Ned was gone, he took his phone off the side table, and without stopping to think, called Harry.

“Bloody hell, Lucas,” Harry began. “Where have you been? I have been trying to get in touch with you.”

“Problem with my phone,” Lucas lied. He was going to be lying to this man a lot over the next few minutes. “Listen, Harry, I haven’t learned anything about who killed Glen Marlow. I have a few leads though, and as soon as I am able, I will get back on it.”

“Able? What happened Lucas?”

“Nothing really. Not anything some aspirin won’t take care of.” At the sound of footsteps, Lucas looked up. Ned came into the room carrying a tray. He froze mid-step when he saw that Lucas was on the phone. The ex-spy held a finger to his lips and Ned nodded in understanding, tiptoeing across the room and taking extra care to make sure not to make any noise with the items on the tray. “I’ll be back on my feet in no time.”

“I really hate to have to bother you with this, Lucas, _considering_.” Harry stated. Lucas knew exactly what ‘considering’ was. “But this has to be kept hushed. I’m not even supposed to know about this. And I don’t need to mention what will happen if they find out you’re alive.”

No, he didn’t need to mention that and Lucas sure as hell didn’t need the reminder. “I got it, Harry. I’ll take care of it.”

He hung up and set his phone back on the side table. Running his hands over his face, he was trying to figure out how to do what Harry had asked him while laid up with his hurt ribs. There were plenty of things he could or should be doing, but he didn’t see how.

“Everything alright?” Lucas nodded as Ned came over and sat the tray across his thighs, managing to not spill the coffee as he did so. “What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know,” Lucas admitted, shaking his head. “I need to go and see that man’s body, the one I killed the other night. Maybe he had something on him that will give me a clue as to where these guys are.”

“And how they know you are alive and why they want you dead.” Ned sat down on the edge of the bed. “You know, I can go to the morgue and see what I can find out.”

“No,” Lucas said adamantly. “It is too dangerous.”

“May I remind you that I used to do this when I was working with that private eye a few years back and I managed not to end up dead? I like to think that time taught me a thing or two, and while I know these men are dangerous, I have dealt with dangerous people before.” Ned could be very resolute when he wanted to be. “And besides, while I know that you know a thing or two about dealing with pain and still doing your job, this isn’t really your job anymore and I would think that pneumonia isn’t something you want to deal with. Deep breath.”

Lucas did as he was told, breathing in as deep as he could, wincing in pain as he did. 

“And I know the guy at the morgue. I won’t have any trouble getting in. I want to know why he didn’t come back when I touched him. The guy you killed. Not the coroner.” Ned was fidgeting with the blanket.

“Alright,” Lucas said. He picked up the fork, surprised at how hungry he was. He didn’t have any other choice at the moment. “Just be careful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, of course, to my sis for helping me with this. Your ideas are always well appreciated. And to everyone reading and following along, thanks to you also.


	13. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned finds out something about the assassin and Lucas tells Ned the truth about himself.

“ _What?_ ” Clearly Lucas hadn’t heard correctly.

“The Medical Examiner said that the body just disappeared.” Ned was pacing back and forth. “He found the sheet that had been covering the body and that was it. It looked as if the man had gotten up, got dressed, and then left.” Ned finally sat down in a chair. Better yet, _threw_ himself down into it. “He is going to call me when he gets the results on the finger prints. They are running them through the system.”

Lucas was sitting on the edge of the bed, feet on the floor. While Ned had been gone to the morgue, he had been pacing back and forth himself, rethinking his agreement in letting the Piemaker go alone to check on the dead bad guy. Now that Ned was back, and had told him what had happened, he was at a loss completely.

“That bullet went through his heart. He was dead before he hit the ground. How did he get up and walk out of the fucking morgue?” Lucas stood, slowly. The pain pill he had just taken was doing wonders. “Something isn’t right here.”

Ned got up from his chair and approached Lucas. “There isn’t anything we can do now. We’ll wait to hear about the fingerprints, and hope there is a match that will tell us something. And then we will go from there.” 

Lucas looked at the other man, meeting his eyes, and he remembered the alleyway, just before he had gone to confront the hit man who couldn’t seem to be able to stay dead. He and Calpernia in the alley. He and _Ned_ in the alley. No matter how he looked or how he dressed or how he acted, it was still Ned underneath the wig and makeup. Lucas knew that, had known that from the first time he had met Calpernia. He wondered if Ned did.

“There is something you need to know,” Lucas began. He was studying the man in front of him carefully, ready to reach out and stop him from fleeing if he had to. “Something about the other night. In the alley.”

He clearly saw Ned freeze, his eyes going wide. “What about it?” Ned’s voice was strained with nervousness.

“When I kissed you –”

“You were kissing Calpernia and there was a trained killer just down the street coming toward us. Yes, I understand.” Ned shrugged and then turned to leave.

“Trained killer or not, I wasn’t kissing Calpernia. I was kissing you.” Lucas stated, freezing Ned in his tracks. “You may at times look like a woman, dress like a woman, and act like a woman, but deep down it is still you. I knew that then, just like I still know it now, and you know it also.”

Ned turned back to Lucas. He opened his mouth to talk, but snapped it shut again. Finally: “Why?”

“Because I like you. Very much. You’re unlike anyone I have ever met before and not because of what you can do with ‘waking the dead’ and all. You’re funny and you’re smart.” Lucas could literally feel the atmosphere changing in the room and could see Ned’s demeanor changing right before his eyes. Whatever this was between them, the younger man was fully aware of it, and didn’t seem as unsure as he had seemed just minutes ago. 

“But my ‘waking the dead’ should have everything to do with it, shouldn’t it?” Ned leaned back against the dresser, folding in on himself again. “That is what has shaped my life for the last 20-some-odd years. It has made me what I am, who I am, and then there is Calpernia. Are you really comfortable with a man who dresses up like a woman 2 or 3 times a week? Even I think of her as another person and…” He trailed off, shaking his head. 

“Yes, I am,” Lucas stated with fervor. Ned looked at him, still a little skeptical. “In fact, I am _very_ comfortable with it. And your ability; you are who you are today because of it and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”

“Really?” Ned was smiling, a shy little smile, and he ducked his head, blushing.

And Lucas knew right at that moment that he had to tell Ned the truth. The truth that his name wasn’t really Lucas North. That he had killed the real Lucas North and taken his place. And that Harry knew this and that was why he had to do what Harry asked. 

He should tell him. He should tell Ned the truth and face the consequences. Give the other man a chance to get out of this, out of what was happening between them before it even started. As much as he would hate it, that look that was sure to be on Ned’s face when he found out the truth, that look of disgust and loathing, he couldn’t lie to him, not to Ned. Not anymore.

“My real name is John Bateman,” he began. “When I was younger, I was part of a group that set off a bomb in Dakar. That bomb killed the real Lucas North. It wasn’t supposed to happen, he was my friend, but it did, so I took over his identity, became him, and joined MI-5 in his place.” He said everything slowly; he wanted to make sure Ned understood everything he was saying. He knew Ned wasn’t stupid, but he wanted to be as clear as possible. He watched the other man carefully, trying to gauge his reaction.

Ned was quiet for a few moments, staring down at the floor, so Lucas was having trouble reading him. His body language wasn’t giving away much either. 

“Would you say something? Anything? Tell me to get the hell out or…Just _something_!” Lucas was prepared for the inevitable. But he wanted to hear it from Ned. Why, he didn’t know, he just had to.

Finally, he looked up, his eyes clear and bright, his face void of anything discernable. “This friend of yours died in a bombing that you helped cause, and then you took his place?” Lucas nodded, unsure of what Ned was doing, or where he was going with this. “Then you spent 8 years in a Russian prison being tortured and forced into hard labor.” Lucas slowly nodded again. “So, because you took his place, _you_ suffered for those 8 years. Doesn’t that mean you have already paid the price for what you did?”

Lucas was stunned for a moment. “I suppose so,” he finally answered. Ned raised an eyebrow very quickly. “That is one way to look at it.”

“To me that is the only way to look at it. You did something bad that inadvertently caused someone’s death and you paid the price for it. Why would that be a reason for me to tell you to leave or turn my back on you?”

It took Lucas all of five seconds to cross the room, ribs be damned, gather Ned up into his arms, and proceed to kiss the bastard senseless. Only the need to breathe drove them apart. Lucas rested his forehead against the younger man’s, chuckling in disbelief. 

“So that’s it then? You are willing to just let it go at that?” 

Ned smiled, nodding, and all those dark recesses were lit up again, and Lucas could now do something he hadn’t been able to do before: look into them without regret or guilt. The price had been a high one, one that still haunted him, but it has also exonerated him in a way. 

“Of course.” Ned said with a shrug and Lucas just had to kiss him again. 

Ned laughed into the kiss. “I feel I must tell you,” he began. His voice was wavering as he spoke, especially when Lucas began to nibble along his jaw line and down his neck. “I have gotten used to calling you Lucas, so are we going to stick with that? To tell you the truth… _okay_ …I like… _damn_ …Lucas better… _AHH_ …than John.”

“Fine by me,” Lucas murmured against what was apparently a very sensitive spot just right about Ned’s collarbone because the younger man began hissing through his teeth and then made a humming noise that consisted of only one note over and over again, all the while, he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. “I like it better also.”

Once again, interesting things were happening; Ned’s hands clutching at the shirt Lucas wore; a maddening desire to take the American right there against the dresser if he had to; to hell with reasoning and to hell with Harry. And, once again, the interesting things were disrupted, only this time not by a trained assassin. 

“What are you two doing?” Olive yelled from the doorway. “You can’t do that! Stop that right now! Ned! You know better! He is still injured!”

Right when she said it, as if reminding his body that it was injured, his ribs protested severely. Lucas pulled away from Ned, grabbing his side and nearly doubling over in pain. “Bloody fucking hell!” He cursed, drawing in a hissing breath which only made him hurt worse.

“Oh my God!” Ned rushed over to help him, putting his arm around him, and helping him back to the bed. “Pain pills! Where are your pills? You should have taken them…” He looked at his watch, “20 minutes ago.”

Olive shook her head, rolling her eyes very dramatically. “Ned! Get it together!” She slapped him hard on the arm. He cringed, turning to her, his mouth open to protest. “No more funny business and I mean it! Don’t make me have to separate you two! Again!” She slapped the bottle of pills into his hand. “And that goes for you, too.” She pointed to Lucas before turning and leaving room, mumbling the whole time. “Honestly, I don’t know what I am going to do with you ... Two grown men, yet nothing but nonsense in their heads …”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I changed Lucas's story just a bit. I thought it best to have the explosion and the real Lucas North's death an accident. I didn't think Ned would be able to look over murder and be in a relationship with a murderer. So, as far as this fic, what Lucas said was the truth about himself.
> 
> Thanks once again to my sis for being my beta and for her awesome suggestions.
> 
> And yes, the relationship is going to get more...interesting in the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks to everyone reading. I am glad you are enjoying it!!


	14. Tattoos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, at this point, I am regretting the injury Lucas has, but it is working out....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm...I really don't need to explain anything here. Enjoy!!

“What does this one mean?” Ned asked as the tips of his fingers barely grazed over the ink-stained skin.

It was snowing outside and had been for most of the day. It was nearing nightfall, and because of the weather, the Pie Hole was closed. While Olive had maintained that someone might still show up, Ned had expressed his belief that anyone who would come out for pie in this weather was insane. Olive had given in, but only because she wanted to treat herself to a home spa and then catch up on whatever it was she recorded on DVR. Ned had been glad she had given up so easily.

Now, here he was, sheltered from the cold outside by not only walls and windows, but by thick blankets and unwavering body heat. 

It had taken much coaxing on Lucas’ part. Weeks’ worth of coaxing actually to convince the younger man that while his ribs were still tender and sore, and certain sudden moves were sure to cause him pain, it wouldn’t hurt them at all if Ned spent a little time with him here and there. Not anything that would cause discomfort. Mostly, especially now that it was cold, sharing blankets and body heat. 

Lucas had approached it like one would approach a scared animal: slowly with gentle persuasion. It had taken a week to get Ned to lie down in the bed with him, on the opposite side with a good foot of room between them. And as they talked and opened up about things, and the familiarity began to settle in, Ned would move closer and closer until finally he was curled up against Lucas’ uninjured side, his head on his shoulder, a leg casually thrown over the Englishman’s thigh.

That was when Lucas began to touch. Running his hand through Ned’s hair, messaging the space where the back of his head met his neck, fingers trailing down his spine, and little nudges with his hip and thigh here and there. Lucas was a trained spy, but he didn’t need all that training to realize just how deeply Ned’s not liking to be touched ran. So, he was as patient as a saint, biding the time that he had. It was still a few weeks before he would be able to do anything without causing himself breath-stealing pain, so this forced tolerance was a luxury he could afford.

He knew the day would come when Ned got more curious about the tattoos and eventually questions would arise about what Lucas had told him weeks ago about the bombing and his stolen identity. He was ready for all of this, had been thinking about the answers to those questions a lot, determined to answer truthfully. He had no desire or intention to lie to Ned.

“It is based on “Ancient of Days,” a watercolor by William Blake.” Lucas explained. His eyes followed Ned’s fingers as they traced the etching over his chest and down to his stomach. He really wished his ribs would hurry up and heal.

“The ship?” 

“’I lead a roaming life; I went from place to place.’ It also once stood for freedom and the love and the loss of it.” Lucas slid the fingers of his right hand over a shoulder blade, his arm underneath the ribs of Ned’s left side. He could feel the other man’s heartbeat on his biceps. “The 8-point star represents how long I was in prison. The onion domed three-barred-crosses on my back signify the same thing. The crosses are Russian Orthodox.”

“And the words above them, across your shoulders?” Ned’s fingers were still tracing, slowly, across Lucas’ skin, and the goose bumps that were forming on his arms and legs had nothing to do with the cold.

“’Dum Spiro Spero’; while I breathe, I hope.’” Lucas breathed the words into Ned’s hair where his nose nuzzled into his temple.

“And this?” Those fingers moved down. Around his belly button to trace the words just below. “What does it mean?” 

Lucas couldn’t help the shudder that passed through his body or the muscles that trembled beneath the other man’s fingers, convulsing enough to make him groan, a little bit of it pain, but the most of it a far cry from an unpleasant sensation. 

“’Gnothi Seauton’; know thyself.” Lucas wondered if Ned knew what he was doing, was doing it on purpose. He _had_ to know just how difficult he was making this mandatory celibacy, didn’t he?

Ned hummed in response. His fingers were still moving, tracing, and Lucas was very close to the point of madness. He reached down with his free hand, gripping Ned’s by the wrist to still it. “That isn’t a good idea, love.”

“Oh!” Ned exclaimed. Lucas noticed the lack of guilt in that small sound. He sat up on his elbow, looking down at Lucas. “I’m sorry.” Nope, not a shred of guilt at all.

Lucas brought his hand up, burying it in the hair at the back of Ned’s neck and pushed, meeting very little resistance, as he raised himself up just enough for his lips to meet the other man’s halfway. And he threw all his frustration and need into it, biting at Ned’s lips roughly, practically forcing Ned to allow him entrance, his tongue dueling with Ned’s in a heated battle.

Starving for air is the only reason he saw as justification to release the younger man. When he did, he opened his eyes to find Ned staring back at him, eyes bright, and his lips swollen and red. There was a tiny bit of blood on them from Lucas’ teeth and when the ex-spy ran his tongue over his own lips, he could taste the coppery tang of it. But Ned didn’t seem too bothered by this.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Ned whispered, and there wasn’t much belief behind the words.

“No, we shouldn’t,” Lucas answered. But his hand was still buried in the soft hair, his fingers kneading Ned’s scalp. “Because all it does is make me want more. To do more.”

“But we can’t.” Ned’s fingers were at work again, on Lucas’ chest and ribs.

“Do something for me?” Lucas asked. He was taking a chance, a big one. This could send Ned running for his own room and then he would have to start all over again getting him back where he was now, but it was a chance he was willing to take. Ned nodded slowly in agreement. “Take your clothes off.”

Ned’s fingers froze and his eyes opened wide in shock. His cheeks flushed a nice shade of pink and before Lucas knew what was happening, Ned had jumped up off the bed and retreated a few feet away. Lucas knew he had lost him, and he cursed himself for letting his libido get the best of him.

But instead of running from the room, Ned just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, like he was hugging himself. His foot was tapping the ground nervously, but he stayed where he was, not fleeing. 

And then, much to Lucas’ utter astonishment, Ned’s hands flew down, gripped the hem of the sweater he was wearing, and pulled it over his head, tossing it in the corner, leaving the white undershirt, which miraculously followed suit just seconds later. Ned stood there in his pants and socks, obviously self-conscious, but still not fleeing in embarrassment or discomfort. Lucas could see the freckles that dotted the other man’s shoulders and he had often wondered how many designs he could see and trace in them with his fingers, mouth, and tongue. 

Lucas opened his mouth to speak, but it wasn’t over yet. Ned undid his belt buckle and then the button and zipper on his pants, and guided them down to his feet where he pulled them off as he pulled the socks free as well. He kicked them off to the side. His arms began to twitch nervously, wanting to cover himself, but he forced them not to. He stood there now only in dark green undershorts, his skin prickling from the cold in the room.

“You mean all of them, don’t you?” Ned asked, even more amazingly, meeting Lucas’ eyes. Lucas nodded, unable to fight the slow, rather wicked in Ned’s opinion, grin that spread across his face.

Taking a deep breath and then another, Ned closed his eyes and, without any more preamble, pulled the undershorts down and kicked them away also. He stood back up straight, his body shaking, and his blush even more prominent.

“You’re beautiful,” Lucas said and he meant it completely.

“I’m 6’3 and 190 pounds of lanky awkwardness on a good day. And I am freezing.” 

Lucas threw the covers back and patted the empty space next to him. Unlike moments before, however, the space was on the opposite side that Ned had been laying on only moments before. Ned thought for a split second and then dashed around the bed, diving into it, pulling the covers up over himself, but then, in spite of being naked, wedged his body up against Lucas’, seeking warmth and maybe a little bit of something else, careful of the still sore ribs he was snuggling up against.

“Turn over on your side with your back to me,” Lucas instructed. Hell, if he had gotten the other man to strip naked, this would be a cinch. And it was. Ned did so without a word. 

Once Ned was still, Lucas rolled onto his side, mindful of his injury and pressed the front of his body flush against Ned’s back. Ned let out a little “oh,” but stayed still and quiet otherwise.

“Just relax, love,” Lucas whispered in his ear just before taking his earlobe between his teeth and pulling on it. Ned sucked in a gasp of air, all but ignoring the hand that had found its way over his hip and the fingers that were now playing with the strip of downy soft hair that ran from his navel on down. “ _Shh_. Relax.”

Ned did, somewhat, but that was totally wiped away when that hand followed the trail all the way down and began stroking his suddenly very attentive and very unashamed arousal.

“Oh shit!” Ned exclaimed, his body going rigid, his back pressing farther into the body behind him. He had never, _never_ , had anybody touch him this way before. It was both exhilarating and frightening at the same time. 

“ _Shh_ , love,” Lucas soothed. He released Ned’s earlobe, in turn nuzzling his neck. His hand, however, kept on its slow and steady course. “It’s alright, baby. All you have to do is just let go and feel.” He kissed that space right behind Ned’s ear and then sucked on it gently. “Imagine what it will feel like when I can finally make love to you, to trace the contours of your body with my hands and with my tongue. To kiss you in places you never even thought of being kissed before.” Ned was still as stiff as a board, but the hand that gripped Lucas’ wrist was not trying to stop him in any way, so the older man continued his ministrations, quickening his pace as he brought his hand up to the leaking head, coating his palm in the precum, before drifting back down to the base again. The noises that Ned was making were like the music of a composed symphony. 

Ned was getting close. Lucas could feel it. It wasn’t really a surprise that it would happen so fast considering that Ned had never been touched like this before. Just before it happened, just before the younger man came, Lucas whispered in his ear: “Imagine what it will be like when I am inside of you.”

And that did it. Ned’s back arched as his body began to shake. He immediately buried his face in Lucas’ arm that had been supporting his head, muffling the cry that issued forth, as he shot semen all over Lucas’ hand and his own stomach.

Lucas continued to sooth him as he came down from his orgasm until Ned lay panting and boneless. Lucas wrapped his arms around him, kissing everywhere he could reach. 

“That’s it, love. It’s alright.” He whispered over and over again and, not surprisingly, Ned’s eyes began to flutter and he mumbled unintelligibly. “It’s fine, baby. Just go to sleep.” And Ned did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait. I haven't been with it over the holidays and lost_kitty tries to shoulder some of the blame, but I will have none of it!!!
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this and thanks for reading.


	15. Reminder

When Lucas woke the next morning, he was alone in the bed. He rolled over onto his back and then sat up on his elbows, staring about the room. Ned and his clothes were gone. Sighing, Lucas rolled slowly out of bed, still wincing in pain but it was getting better every day.

After Ned had gone to sleep last night, Lucas had lain awake for a short time. Doing what he had done to the younger man had been enjoyable, but physically it hadn’t done him any good. He had been painfully hard, so he had rolled over onto his back and taken care of it himself quickly and efficiently. Still, that had only been a temporary slack to his demanding thirst for the American. In fact, it had only made him want Ned more, but Ned wasn’t going to let anything else happen, certainly not anything more physical, as long as there was any threat of aggravating Lucas’ injury. 

He swore that the second he was healed, no pain whatsoever, Ned was in for it. 

Lucas decided that he was feeling good enough and strong enough to make his way downstairs. He was tired of being in this room, especially alone, and needed to do something besides lay in bed all day and watch TV. 

Navigating the stairs was easy enough. Once in the kitchen, he found it empty, but he could hear that someone was in the front area. He wasn’t too surprised to find Olive, though he was wondering where Ned was.

“Good morning,” Olive greeted as Lucas came through the door to the kitchen. She was all smiles and energy as she bustled about. “Look at you all up and at ‘em.” She dashed around wiping down tables. 

“Good morning,” Lucas returned, envious of her energy. “I’m feeling much better.”

“That’s good.” She beamed at him, but he noticed the glint in her eyes. A glint that told him she knew more about what was going on between him and Ned than he had previously thought she was privy to. “If you care for some, I made coffee and if you are looking for Ned, he is back in the storage room getting the fruit for the pies ready.” 

“Thanks.” The storage room was just off of the kitchen and when Lucas entered the room, he found shelves stacked high with fruit – rotten fruit. 

“Weird, isn’t it?” Ned’s voice drew his attention to the center of the room and the table that was there. “All this useless fruit.” Ned waved around. On the table in front of him were baskets of spoiled peaches and strawberries.

“This isn’t what you use for your pies, is it?” Eyebrow raised in disbelief, Lucas came around the table to stand next to the younger man. Despite everything that had happened the night before, Ned didn’t seem nervous or bashful at all, which was a relief to the ex-spy.

“Yes, it is,” Ned said with a nod. “But I have to do this...” He picked up a peach and the second he touched it, it went from black and rotten to peachy and spotless. “…to it first.”

Lucas shook his head in disbelief. “Your power works on fruit as well as people.” 

Ned was smiling at him. “And animals, birds, bees, and flowers.” He picked up a strawberry and it too returned to looking as if it had just been picked. He handed it to Lucas. “It works the same. And I mean that something has to die in order for the fruit to come back to life, if you will. So, I keep Brussels sprouts and other vegetables I don’t like around to take the fruits place.”

Lucas marveled at the strawberry that he held in his hand. It was perfect and flawless. If he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he never would have thought that it had just been rotten a moment before. Without wasting any more time, he took a bite and was amazed at how wonderful it tasted.

“This is incredible,” he commented. It was sweet and just a little bit tangy. He had never tasted another strawberry like it. 

“Olive says that things taste better after I have revived them than fruit that she buys fresh from the store.” Ned shrugged and proceeded to touch all the fruit in the bowls on the table one by one. Lucas stared as they flared back to life. 

Lucas finished the strawberry, and then, on a spur of the moment sort of thing, he turned Ned toward him and kissed him soundly. It was so nice to kiss someone who was practically the same height. None of that bending down or slouching down, or anything uncomfortable.

Ned laughed into the kiss, but kissed back. Lucas’ lips and mouth tasted like strawberry and Ned decided that tasted even better than the fruit itself. 

Ned had woken up that morning and it had taken every single ounce of will power he had to not jump out of the bed and run as fast as he could to his own room. He couldn’t believe that he had not only done what he had done, stripping when told to so willingly, but that he had actually gotten into bed with the other man. And then…Oh and then what had happened afterward. In over 20 years he had refrained from touching and from being touched, and now he was touching and being touched and it was all exciting and new. And last night had been both frightening and blissful. What Lucas had done to him had been astonishing and exhilarating and he was stunned that he actually wanted more. The things Lucas had said to him, especially about being _inside_ of him, were something he was greatly looking forward to, even as it terrified him.

But when Lucas placed his hands on his hips and gently pulled him closer, Ned could not help but put his arms around the other man, careful to avoid his injured ribs, his hands clasping together at the small of Lucas’ back. He was both cursing himself for holding back all this time, for not allowing himself the simple pleasure and joy of another person’s touch, but at the same time he was also glad he had waited. He had loved Chuck, that was for certain, but he couldn’t help but feel that their relationship, however it had been, wouldn’t have been anything at all if he hadn’t brought her back to life after her murder. Even if she hadn’t been killed on that cruise ship, the chances of them ever meeting and having a relationship would have been slim to none.

He was so involved, so enraptured in the moment that everything around them just melted away. So when he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, the type of action and sound one does to get someone completely engrossed in something’s attention, it took a few moments for it to register that was exactly what was going on. 

He opened one eye and turned his head so slightly to the side to find Olive standing there in the doorway, hands on her hips, head cocked to the side, and a look of exasperation on her face. Ned, reluctantly, broke all contact with Lucas at that very moment, backing away with a shameful posture and look on his face. Lucas sighed as he also managed to look rather sheepish in the face of Olive’s vexation.

“What am I going to do with you two?” She asked, shaking her head slowly. “I can’t leave you alone for nothing! I would think that two grown men could refrain from acting like a couple of randy teenagers, but no! I was wrong!” She stomped into the room and threw a yellow manila envelope onto the table. “This just came for you. And you need to hurry up and get the pies going. We have customers.” But she did not leave. Instead she just stood there, waiting.

Ned sighed and opened the envelope. Inside was a single sheet of paper. He looked over it, confused for a moment, and then it dawned on him what it was.

“Oh!” His eyes went wide. “The results on the finger prints of that dead guy I couldn’t bring back and who escaped from the morgue.” He handed the sheet of paper to Lucas. “Does that tell you anything?”

Lucas took one look at the paper and Ned could tell by the look on the ex-spy’s face that it did indeed tell him something. 

“What is it, Luke?” Olive asked. She had been meaning to try that, calling Lucas ‘Luke,’ for a while now. “Do you know who that guy is?”

“Yeah,” Lucas said at length. “I know who he is. He is a member of the FSB. Or at least he was. Unless I am mistaken, he was killed 5 years ago.”

“By who?” Ned asked.

“By me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delays. That stupid arctic weather we got made it so cold I stored my computer away for a few days. 
> 
> Thanks lost_kitty for her editing and support. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without her.
> 
> And to everyone reading, leaving kudos, and comments THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You are very appreciated!


	16. Rudeness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Olive being Olive, I hope.^^

The day at the Pie Hole was spent as typical as any other. The only exception was that this day Lucas decided that sitting around wondering and waiting for FSB superspies to barge into the place and kill them all was not doing anyone any good. So, he helped Ned out as well as he could. And as well as he could meant cutting up the rejuvenated fruit for the pies.

But the threat of the FSB loomed large in his mind all day long. After all this time and they were still out to get him. And how had they known that he was still alive? Falling off a building onto a car had very nearly killed him, but it had been a good enough act to convince everyone, including the British Government, that he was dead. The only person who had known otherwise was Harry. Had Harry betrayed him? And if so, why? Faking his death had been Harry’s idea. Why would he go to all that trouble just to rat Lucas out to the Russians? Nothing made any sense, and he knew that in order for it to do so, he was going to have to get answers.

He had been so distracted with his thoughts, that he damn near sliced the tip of his finger off. Olive bandaged his finger up all the while scolding him (and Ned who was innocently standing by) about not paying attention while playing with sharp objects. Then she forced a pain pill down his throat (not physically but he wouldn’t have put it past her to try) and sent him off to his room to rest. He was glad for it because once he had returned to reality his side had been aching quite a bit.

“Can I ask you something?” Lucas had gone upstairs nearly 20 minutes ago and Olive had been able to tell the second the other man was gone that something was on Ned’s mind.

“Of course, silly,” she said. As she passed by him to check the oven she smacked his thigh with the towel she was holding. “You know you can ask me anything.”

Apparently he had to gear up for it because he shook himself and took several deep breaths before spinning on his heel to face her. 

“I was just wondering since you are a woman and as a woman you have been with…with a man, exactly what does that entail?” This was delivered in semi-typical Ned fashion: he spoke quickly, but didn’t ramble on like he usually did when nervous.

“Oh, Ned, being a woman and being with a man is completely different than being a man who has been with a man. And I’m not a man, which is clearly established here, so I don’t know what I can tell you.” She thought it was sweet that he was wondering and willing to put aside his anxiety and ask.

“Oh. But, it can’t be that different, can it?”

“I guess what I can take from this is that you two haven’t done anything yet.” Olive shook her head, but in the act she noticed the rather sheepish look on Ned’s face. “You two haven’t done anything, have you?”

“Well, we did. I mean I did. Well, he did also. But not anything like you are thinking.” He shook his head vehemently as Olive placed her hands on her hips, her whole demeanor screaming that there was about to be a chewing out. “There was touching. A lot of touching. Actually, it was just one touch. One very long, prolonged touch, but there was a great amount of movement associated with that touch. A plethora of movement, and I just sort of stayed still and he did the touch and the extreme amount of moving of that touch.”

Olive rolled her eyes. “You mean he jacked you off.”

Ned turned fifty shades of red before finally settling on one. “I guess so. Yes, that is what…Yeah.”

“And then what happened?” Ned shrugged. “Afterward! What did you do afterward?”

“I went to sleep.”

“Went to – Ned! Seriously! That was very inconsiderate!” She hit him with the towel again, this time on the arm. 

“He told me to. He told me to go to sleep.”

“Oh! Well, that was sweet of him, but still you shouldn’t have just passed out and left him in that condition. You know that is not a good thing to do. Well, your only consolidation is that he wouldn’t leave himself like that, so he jerked off to you. The least you could have done was stay awake just a few minutes longer and enjoyed the show.”

“Enjoyed the…Olive!” Ned’s jaw dropped and his eyes bugged.

“Oh, stop it! Things are going to get a lot more…you know, _personal_. I mean he had his hand on your dick and made you come. Trust me, sweetie, I may not know a lot about guy on guy stuff, just what I have seen and read on the internet, but that is just the beginning, believe you me!” The last three words were delivered in a sing-songy voice as she exited the room.

Ned sighed, leaning back against the table. Leave it to Olive…

There was a lull and he had plenty of pies made and waiting, so Ned decided to go upstairs and lay down for a bit. Just a little nap since he had been up since 5 that morning and it was nearly 2 PM. 

As he ascended the stairs, his thoughts went to what they had learned about the man that Lucas had shot that night. FSB? Lucas had said it stood for Federal Security Division, and hadn’t gone into much detail about it, except only to say that he had dealt with them a lot in prison and then after rejoining MI5. 

Ned didn’t even think twice as he bypassed his bedroom door and went straight to Lucas’ room. He opened the door with as much care as he could and entered the room quietly, or so he thought. It was rather dark as Lucas had the shades and curtains drawn to cut out as much illumination as possible.

“Done for the day already?” Lucas’ voice made Ned jump.

“Sorry. I thought I was being quiet. And no, just taking a break while business is slow. It will pick up in a few hours.” Ned kicked his shoes off. 

“You were being quiet. Trained spy, remember?” 

“Yeah. Right.” Ned chuckled at his own absentmindedness for forgetting that fact. “Still, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” Lucas stated. He could see well enough in the darkness of the room to tell that Ned was taking great care not to run into anything as he moved about the room. “Just come straight ahead. There is nothing for you to trip over.”

Ned did so and when he made it to the bed, he sat down on the edge, feeling to make sure he wasn’t going to lay on the other man or bump him before laying down himself. Once settled on his side, facing Lucas, he reached out tentatively until his fingers brushed the other man’s arm. His first reaction was to pull his hand back quickly, but he managed to keep himself from doing that. Instead, he placed his hand on Lucas’ arm and then let it slid up to his shoulder.

“I wanted to apologize to you,” he whispered in the dark. The warm skin under his palm was pleasant to the touch. “For last night.”

“Apologize? For what?”

“Well, after…you know, you…you know, and I just went to sleep. I just went to sleep and left you…you know, and that was rude…of…me.” Ned was really glad it was dark, because face felt as if it were on fire.

“No worries, love,” Lucas said with a chuckle. “I can take care of myself alright enough.” He took Ned’s hand that was on his shoulder and brought it to his lips, kissing the pulse point just below his thumb. He felt the younger man shiver at the action and did it again just to get the same reaction and he was not disappointed. “You thought it was a rude thing for you to do?”

“Yeah,” Ned whispered.

“Funny, because it sounds like something Olive would say.” Lucas was smiling wide as he felt Ned squirm. Lucas moved over closer to Ned, managing to pull him closer as well, until the pie maker’s head was resting on his shoulder. The hand that he held he rested across his stomach. “Again, don’t worry about it.”

Ned sighed, his breath ghosting over Lucas’ neck and Lucas had to close his eyes and count to 10. Ned squirmed, bringing himself even closer until he was flush up against Lucas’ side. Make that a 20 count.

“I promise I’ll try not to be that rude again. I don’t mean to be so unaware. I shouldn’t be, I just…”He sighed again. Another 20 count. “It isn’t really fair that you have to be so patient with me.”

“I don’t mind,” Lucas said. He kissed Ned’s forehead, nuzzling the hair that was flopped there. “You’re worth it.”

He felt Ned smile against his shoulder. “I hope so. I don’t want to be a disappointment…”

Lucas turned over on his side, dislodging Ned for a moment, and pulled the younger man back against him. His lips lined up with Ned’s right eye and he kissed it and then the other eye and then down over his nose and to his mouth where he slowly and methodically spent several long minutes.

“You can never be a disappointment to me,” Lucas promised, his lips ghosting over Ned’s. “You are putting way too much thought into this. If you don’t want to do anything else, I’m not going to force you. And I’m sorry if I have made you seem obligated in some way to – “

“No!” Ned said, almost shouted. “No. You haven’t. I want to. I just don’t know…what I’m supposed to do or how to or…” He sighed once again, this time in frustration. “I wish this had never happened to me. I wish this ability that I have had never been given to me.”

Lucas wrapped him up tightly in his arms, kissing him, and he was surprised to find Ned’s eyes wet with tears. “Love, everything is going to be alright. Whatever reason you were given this ability for, it has to be a good reason, because you are a good person. And if you didn’t have this ability, then we never would have met.” _And then I wouldn’t love you_ , Lucas thought, but kept it to himself. For now.

Ned sniffled, but managed to laugh. “Then that makes it worth it.” And he meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise. Lucas' injury is going to heal up and soon!


	17. Tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first song is from Soldier's Girl. The second song is by Melissa Etheridge. I cam across it on my IPod and I don't remember how it got there, but I thought it would be good for this fic. So all rights and I own nothing and yada yada yada.
> 
> And now, without further ado....

Lucas didn’t care that the club wasn’t that far from the Pie Hole. The man who had chased he and Calpernia, the man who was supposed to be dead, had seen Calpernia’s face and knew where she worked. It would be a simple thing to attack her, kidnap her or worse, in the alley outside of the club. Lucas was not taking any chances, and that was why he was furious when he awoke and went downstairs to be informed by Olive that Ned had already gone to the club. Had _walked_ to the club.

Lucas had walked the distance to the club, checking alleyways and the streets for any sign that Ned had been attacked. He knew that Ned had walked to the club as “Ned,” but he still had to be sure. After giving Calpernia a piece of his mind for being so foolish, he would walk her back to the Pie Hole. It was better to be safe than sorry, after all.

When he got to the club, he made his way to the same table he had occupied the first time he came here: the one in the shadowy corner with his back to the wall. There was another performer on stage, but he knew the times that Calpernia would be performing, so knew he wouldn’t have to wait long. And he was right because soon she was up on stage.

This time, Calpernia was in a white satin dress, sheer on the back and arms, with a slit up the side nearly up to the hip, and with feathers attached to the wrists of the sleeves. And the song was a different one than the one she had sung the last time:

All of your body  
All of your mind  
All your affection  
All of the time

All of the comfort  
All of the ache  
All of the giving  
All of the take

Every ounce of you  
And your love  
Oh, is all I need  
Strong and tender  
I'll surrender  
I am on my knees

All the illusion  
All of the truth  
All the confusion  
All of the proof

All of the pleasures  
All of the pain  
All I am losing  
All that I gain

I want it all  
I want it all  
I'll take whatever  
You can give me  
But I want it all

I want it all  
I want it all  
I'll take whatever  
You can give me  
But I want, I want  
I want it all

The song had Lucas in a daze as Calpernia bowed to her audience and blew kisses to them. For a moment, her eyes met Lucas’ across the room, and she smiled at him, so beautiful and sincere, and it made the lyrics to the song that was still fresh in his mind all the more moving. The applause was loud, accompanied by wolf whistles and other various outcries of appreciation, as Calpernia left the stage in a dramatic fashion. Lucas clapped along, but his gaze shot arrows at the other men in the room. 

 

“Hey, sweetheart! What are you doing here?” Lucas looked up to find Calpernia standing before him. She had come around the way she had before, but instead of taking the chair next to him, she casually and without any hesitation sat on the table. Taking his drink out of his hand, she crossed her legs, the slit in the dress falling open, leaving both legs bare for him to appreciate. She took a drink, wincing only slightly, before setting it down. “Are you checking up on me?”

 

Lucas smirked, shaking his head. A guy should not have legs like the ones Ned had. Lucas wanted to touch, but kept himself from it. He was supposed to be angry still after all.

 

“What were you thinking? Coming here alone?” He berated, but it didn’t sound as threatening as he had hoped it would.

 

“Oh, baby,” Calpernia cooed. She slid just a little closer, her legs swinging to where the foot attached to the leg that was crossed over the other one, rested on his thigh. Where had her shoe gone to? “That is so sweet, and I do know better, but I didn’t want to wake you up.” She was pouting; smiling, but still managing to pout at the same time. 

 

“Next time, wake me up.” Lucas couldn’t help it any longer. He put his hand on her calf and slowly ran it up to the back of her knee and then back down to the ankle. He repeated it several times, his actions languid. He could feel the muscles underneath his palm move as he did so. “I mean it.”

 

Calpernia giggled, throwing her head back, and then, much to Lucas’ surprise and delight, shifted her foot off of his thigh, and gently tucked it between his legs, the toes nestled between him and the chair. Then she wiggled her toes, sending jolts from his balls, which said toes were wiggling against, to his spine and another part of his anatomy. 

 

“I’ll do that,” she said to him, arching her foot up until it brushed against his awakening erection. “I will definitely wake you _up_ the next time. Maybe, I’ll wake you up just for the hell of it.”

 

“Bloody hell, woman,” Lucas cursed under his breath. He shifted just a little bit in his seat, but it didn’t do anything but rub her foot against him more. 

 

She leaned down, still smiling, capturing his lips with her own. He knew that they were being watched. The corner was shadowy, but not that much, and he also knew that all of those who had so rambunctiously made their approval of Calpernia’s performance known, had their eyes on her. He could imagine the heated glares he was getting, full of jealousy and envy, and it made him smile into the kiss at the thought. 

 

On an impulse, he removed Calpernia’s foot from where it was, gaining another pout in the process, and then, leaning forward, put one arm around her waist and the other under her knees, legs still crossed, and lifted/pulled her until she came to rest in his lap. Calpernia let out a squeal of delight, and, sitting sideways, her back to most of the patrons in the club, she wrapped her arms around Lucas’s neck.

 

“Warn a girl next time,” she chided, her lips at the side of his mouth. She brought one hand up and brushed the dark hair from his forehead. “Not that I mind being manhandled.”

 

Lucas shook his head. “I didn’t think you would mind, love.” He moved just a few inches closer, his lips brushing hers. Just as he did though, she leaned back, smiling at him. It was a sweet smile, but also full of mischief. The hand that had been playing with his hair proceeded to come to his mouth, and using her thumb, began rubbing at his lips. “What are you doing?”

 

“My lipstick. It isn’t your color, sweetheart,” she said. “I have another show to do. I have to go get ready for it.” She kissed him again, and then used her thumb to wipe the remnant of her lipstick away once again. “I’ll see in you a little while.” And then she was up, slipping on her shoe that was on the floor next to his chair, and sashayed off, looking back over her shoulder at him once more, smiling widely before disappearing.

 

Lucas shook his head, smiling himself, and took another mouthful of the bourbon in his glass. Over the rim, he saw that there were a great many patrons still glancing his way, and he smirked even wider. 

 

There were four more acts before Calpernia took the stage again. Lucas was on his third drink by that time, only a little buzzed. Apparently, since the staff knew that he and Calpernia were…close, they didn’t water down his drinks like they did everyone else’s.

 

The lights dimmed in the entire room and everyone got very quiet. Then the spotlight came on, showing on the center of the stage, and for several moments, Lucas could only stare, his glass held halfway up to his lips. It was Calpernia, no doubt about that, but…Whoa! That was the only thing that his brain could formulate at the moment.

 

A burgundy half jacket, that barely covered her shoulders, obviously not meant to cover anything, with full sleeves that widened at the cuff, a satin brassiere of the same color, leaving everything bare right down to the velvet skirt that was riding so low it was a wonder how it stayed on, hanging four inches below her bellybutton. There were two strands of braided gold that ran from underneath the top of the skirt and over the (fake) hips. Lucas knew that the breasts as well as the hips were fake, but if he hadn’t known that, he would not have believed it at the time.

 

And then the music started. And then Calpernia began to sing.

 

Is it so hard to satisfy your senses?   
You found out to love me you have to climb some fences   
Scratching and crawling along the floor to touch you   
And just when it feels right you say you found someone else to hold you   
Does she like i do 

Tell me does she love you like the way I love you   
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you   
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you   
Like the way I do   
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you   
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you?   
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you   
Like the way I do 

Can I survive all the implications?   
Even if I tried could you be less than an addiction   
Don't you think I know there's so many others   
Who would beg steal and lie fight kill and die   
Just to hold you hold you like I do 

Tell me does she love you like the way I love you   
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you   
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you   
Like the way I do   
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you   
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you?   
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you   
Like the way I do 

Nobody loves you like the way I do   
Nobody wants you like the way I do   
Nobody needs you like the way I do   
Nobody aches, nobody aches just to hold you   
Like the way I do 

Tell me does she love you like the way I love you   
Does she stimulate you attract and captivate you   
Tell me does she miss you existing just to kiss you   
Like the way I do   
Tell me does she want you infatuate and haunt you   
Does she know just how to shock and electrify and rock you?   
Does she inject you seduce you and affect you   
Like the way I do

 

All the while, as she sang, her body moved with the music. Her hips moved in a circle pattern, and Lucas thought that no man should be able to move like that, in such a sultry, and barely veiled provocative manner. It was enrapturing to watch. Damn near torturous. And whenever her place on the stage permitted, Calpernia met his eyes, singing only to him, moving only for him, and it was exciting and tantalizing. 

 

When the song was over, Calpernia bowed as everyone stood up and applauded. Before leaving the stage, she met Lucas’s eyes once again, only this time nodding her head to backstage, telling him to meet her back there. Finishing his drink in one swallow, he stood and did just that, finding the opening to the hallway that led to the alleyway exit.

 

Calpernia met him there, coming into his arms laughing, pressing her body so close to his. His arms went around her naked midsection, pulling her as tight as he could without hurting her, the heat from her body seeping through his clothes straight to his skin, flesh, and bones. His lips found hers, ravenous in motion, tongues sliding against each other.

 

She pulled away, her lipstick smeared, sweat on her forehead from both now and from being under the lights on the stage. “How are your ribs?” She asked.

 

“Fine,” he answered. And it was true. They hadn’t bothered him at all that day. Not even a twinge that morning when he had stretched after waking up. “Just fine. Why?” The question was a tease. 

 

“Because all those things that you have been promising to do to me once you felt better,” Calpernia began. The breasts felt real also, pressed up against his chest as she rubbed her body against his. “I want you to take me home and do them to me. Now. Tonight. All…night…long.”

 

“Yes ma’am. With pleasure.” Who was he, after all, to refuse a lady?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE MY SIS/BETA BACK!!!!! I MISSED YOU. CAT!!!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who have stuck with us and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was a lot of fun to write!


	18. The Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am sorry for the delay. Both my editor and myself have a lot going on right now. Thanks for your patience!! And for sticking with me. Enjoy!!!

It was amazing that they made it back to the Pie Hole in one piece.

Calpernia had thrown on a coat, a long one with fur along the collar and wrists, and good thing, too, because it had begun snowing again. But she didn’t bother to change from the burgundy outfit she had worn last time on stage. She had just thrown everything into her bag and departed with all haste, though politely saying good night to her fellow performers.

The coat was great, but she still had to be cold, Lucas thought as they traversed the streets. He was buzzed, but not drunk, and managed to keep his wits about them. There was still a killer, or _killers_ out there somewhere, and he was surprised that they had not staked-out the club. They had to know about his connection to Calpernia, even if the man he had killed, who hadn’t stayed dead, did not get a good look at her, the club was their only source of where to find Lucas. And he knew that there was no way the man had not seen Calpernia that night, especially in the bar they had sat in. She had been facing the door, so it would be wise to assume that she was known to them. So, why had they not been at the club?

In spite of drinking, and being preoccupied with the person who now walked beside him, he had kept an eye out for anyone suspicious. He knew what to look for, having been trained and all, and had seen nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary at the club. 

They crept into the back door as quiet as they could as to not wake up Olive. All the lights were off, however, except for a light over the sinks, and since both of them were unable to keep their hands off the other, running into things was not something they could have avoided at the moment. Once they finally made it to the stairs, Lucas decided that it would be best if he carried Calpernia upstairs, so he did just that, bridal style. Calpernia was trying not to laugh as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips on his ear and jaw line. She kicked one shoe off as they ascended the stairs, and Lucas could hear it tumble down the steps. The other she kicked off on the landing, but it hit the wall and the sound of it doing so seemed to be much more loud than it should have been.

“Put me down,” Calpernia asked, kicking both legs. Lucas sighed, but set her down. “Shh!” She told him with a finger to her lips, bumping her body into his. Then she let the coat slide from her shoulders and with a laugh dropped it on top of his head. “Come on, baby. Catch me if you can.”

Lucas pulled the coat off of his head and by the time he turned around, Calpernia was already at the other staircase, the one that led up to the next floor, and he watched as those incredible and long legs dashed up the stairs, taking two at a time. Lucas wondered how well that could have been done in the heels Calpernia had discarded before he followed, draping the coat in his hands on the railing.

When he reached the other floor, one he had never been on before, Calpernia was standing midway down the hallway. While the other floor had rooms on each side, there were only two doors on this floor, one on each side. 

She raised a hand, and with one come-hither finger motioned him to follow her. Then she slipped the shoulder jacket off, letting it drop to the floor before opening the door and disappearing through it. Lucas followed (of course he did) and when he came to the open door, he was surprised at what he found.

In the hotel’s hay day, the room had been a suite. And even though it had been years since it had been used, it was clean and pristine. 

“Like it?” Calpernia asked from Lucas’ left. He came into the room, a sitting room with couches, tables, and chairs, and found Calpernia in the doorway leading to the bedroom. She had a hip leaning against the door frame, one arm over her head, the other on her other hip. “Olive and I cleaned it up last week. Flipped the mattress, changed the sheets, that sort of thing.”

She made no move as Lucas came toward her. He stopped inches from her, his hands found her hips, his fingers playing with the strands of gold there, following them from front to back until they disappeared underneath the skirt. 

“Yes, I do.” He whispered as he stepped those inches closer, his hands now trailing over bare skin. Over her ribs and up, the satin of the brassiere soft as his hands cupped Calpernia’s breasts, fingers catching the straps. They felt so real, as real as any he had ever had his hands on before. He kissed her briefly, and then his lips traveled downward over jaw and neck, collarbone and breastbone, to those oh so real mounds, and that was when it hit him.

He stood up straight again and his eyes met Calpernia’s. She looked at him, a question on her lips, in her eyes. And he knew what the question was, and before she could ask it, he answered.

“I want you,” he said.

She smiled at him, her hands going to the collar of the jacket her wore. “I know, sweetheart. I know you do. Why did you stop?”

“I want you,” he said again, and Calpernia shook her head, not comprehending what he was trying to convey. “What I mean to say is: I want you, Ned. Just you and you alone. With no illusions in the way.”

It was instantaneous. Gone was Calpernia, flirty, brazen Calpernia, and in her place stood Ned. Shy, introverted Ned. “Really?” The voice was Ned’s.

Lucas nodded. “Really.” He cupped Ned’s cheek, his thumb rubbing gently across rouge stained cheekbone. “Don’t get me wrong: Calpernia is a very beautiful woman, but she is not the one that I want to be with. She is not the one I dream about. She is not the one I want to hold in my arms. She is not the one who I want to make love to.”

“Oh!” Ned breathed. His eyes were shining and his body was trembling slightly. “Okay.” He nodded, releasing his grip on Lucas’ jacket. “It’ll take me a few moments to…” He motioned toward another door, this one inside the bedroom. Obviously the bathroom. “I’ll hurry.”

Lucas kissed him again, softly, mouth closed, but wanting to convey into it that he meant every word he had said. When he drew back from Ned, the other man was smiling, and then Ned backed into the room a few steps before turning and retreating to the bathroom. Lucas sighed, smiling himself, then pulled off his jacket, and kicked off his shoes. It didn’t really matter to him how long it would be, because he would wait for as long as it took.

______________________

Ned was staring at himself in the mirror. Gone were the trappings of Calpernia. Her wig and clothing lay on the closed toilet lid. The make-up was wiped away. The fake nails were disposed of. The fake breasts and hips, so hard to get on in the first place, were detached and carefully laid on the counter top. The adhesive substance that held them so firmly in place was washed away, and so was the powder that was applied to blend the edges of the prosthetics with his skin. Yes, Calpernia was all gone, and all that was left was Ned.

It had surprised him when Lucas had said what he had said, but then again it shouldn’t have. What had Ned been thinking? Had he thought that Lucas would rather spend their first night together with Calpernia? Had he thought that the other man would prefer the fake breasts and hips to none at all? They had been sleeping in the same bed for weeks now. Lucas had kissed him and held him, and touched him all that time without the ‘illusion’ of Calpernia anywhere around. It had all been Ned, with Ned, to Ned, and for Ned. 

Sighing, he placed his hands on the rim of the sink, and bent his head down, looking into the now empty basin. Now that Calpernia was gone, his doubts were creeping back in. She had been so forward, so sure, but now that she was washed down the drain and pieces of her lying here and there, Ned was once again wondering what he was doing here and why Lucas wanted him to be. Did Lucas really care this much about him? Why? Why did Lucas want him? 

He jumped about two feet into the air when he heard the door open. He had no idea how long he had been in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror, but it must have been a while, much longer than he had promised, because there was concern on Lucas’ face.

“Sorry,” Ned said, running a hand through his hair, waiting for his heart to stop pounding.

“Ned.” Lucas approached him and gathered him up in his arms, pulling him close. Ned sighed into it, his arms coming up and around Lucas’ as he rested his head on the ex-spy’s shoulder. “There is something I need to tell you. Another reason why I want to be with you and not Calpernia.”

Ned swallowed the lump in his throat. “What is it?”

“It is because I am in love with you, not with her.”


	19. Truth Comes Shining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been edited. My lovely and wonderful editor is in the process of moving, and so I have decided to go ahead and post the next chapter without her insight. So, all mistakes are mine, and I apologize for them.
> 
> ENJOY!!

“What did you say?” Ned pulled far enough back to look Lucas in the eyes. He hadn’t heard him correctly, had he? “Did you just say that – ”

“I’m in love you?” Lucas brought his hands up to frame Ned’s face. “Yes, I did and I meant it.”

Ned couldn’t get words to form. He had no idea what words to form. Love? Lucas loved him? The question formed in his mind, but he could see the answer right in front of him, shining like a beacon in those steel-blue eyes that haunted him, waking and asleep and had since practically they had met. It was there, in honesty, in truth, and it was real and wondrous and so captivatingly obvious he felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

“Oh!” For the second time that night, but there appeared to be a short between his brain and mouth and that was all he was able to formulate. He was trying to get that short corrected, because he knew there was something he wanted to say, _had_ to say. 

Lucas must have known what was going on because he was grinning widely. He took Ned by the hand and led him out of the bathroom and to the bed, where he sat down and guided the other man to do the same. 

“Do you want to talk?” Lucas was still holding Ned’s hand in his. 

And Ned knew at that moment the reason why his brain refused to work properly, and it was because he didn’t want to talk. Not right now, at least. Later. After. Right at that very moment, he was tired of talking. He shook his head, looking into the other man’s eyes.

He knew Lucas was going to ask him if he was sure, and Ned was sure, was _very_ sure, so he didn’t give the other man a chance to ask that question. He surged forward, clumsy in his actions, and in being so almost missed entirely. But Lucas was patient and understanding. He buried a hand in Ned’s hair at the back of his head and tilted his head slightly to the side so their noses would bump again, and then let Ned take the lead in bringing their lips together.

In spite of his initial awkwardness, Ned was not new at this. This _had_ been touching and kissing for a weeks now, going all the way back to the alleyway, so he knew what he was doing – for now. He was still a little unsure, especially since Lucas seemed to be content with letting him decide everything, and that made Ned nervous. He didn’t want to mess anything up, which he feared that he would, so he wished Lucas would just dictate everything and Ned would be comfortable with that.

“Lucas.” His brain and mouth were finally working together again, but for how long he didn’t know. “Please. I – I don’t…”

So Lucas took over then. He moved and adjusted until Ned was straddling his lap. Hands everywhere, slow and gentle rubs and all out groping and lips, tongue, and teeth in all the right places within reach. There were places that were kissed, licked, and nibbled on that Ned had no idea where so sensitive, didn’t have any clue that paying attention to those areas would make his breath catch in his throat, his toes curl, his muscles tighten, and noise issue from his throat, noises he also hadn’t know he could make.

He offered no resistance when Lucas lifted him up and then swung around with him. Ned landed on his back on the bed and he didn’t even have a chance to miss the other man’s body before he was being ravished again. He felt wonderful and his body was literally quaking with need and desire and his breath was coming out in pants, and all the places that Lucas had explored and marked and claimed were tingling and all the heat in his body was pooling wherever the other man was touching him. And he was so. So hard and sensitive. The slightest brush against him made him yelp as bolts shot through to his chest, shoulders, feet, small of back, just everywhere. 

Yet even though his want and need were painfully desperate, Lucas maintained a sense of control. No matter how badly he just wanted to take the younger man, bury himself to the hilt in him, and suck him through the mattress and, hell, the floor beyond, he knew he couldn’t do that. The last thing he wanted to do was cause Ned pain, in any shape or form, and that would definitely hurt the other man. So, while his mouth was a little rougher than was necessary, leaving marks on the pale skin of his soon-to-be lover. Mostly bruises from love bites, and even a few teeth marks here and there. But it wasn’t anything Ned was complaining about or seemed bothered by, so Lucas didn’t worry about it. 

His hands, however, he made sure were tender exploring of every nook and cranny. Learning what made Ned moan, what made his back arch, what made him giggle and squirm. It was all fascinating, learning about someone in such an intimate way, especially knowing that all this knowledge was yours and yours alone. That no one else in this world had done these things to him, knew all these details about his body and how and where he liked to be touch, and the reactions those touches made. It was a great responsibility, one that he took great care and pride in, and he was not about to ruin it for either one of them in any way.

He wondered about the lube. It had been sitting on the table beside the bed. For some reason, he knew that Olive was responsible for that as well as the condoms in the drawer. She hadn’t taken any chances. There was several of each size. Lucas hated the damn things, but while he was sure that Ned was not only clean, at least he had said that he was, he knew he didn’t need to worry since Ned had never been with anyone else before. He, only the other hand, had been with others before, both men and women (he had been married once) and he knew there weren’t any worries because he had been tested, blood testing was mandatory at MI5, and had been in the hospital during his recovery from faking his death. He hadn’t been with anyone since, so it wasn’t a concern, but Ned might prefer it.

“Condom?” He whispered against skin, a pulse point in the neck. Ned shivered beneath him, his hands just as active, and his mouth trying to be. It was a learning process after all. “Do you want me to use one?”

Ned kind of froze for a second, the question turning over and over in his head. Finally, “No.” And Lucas was happy with that.

Lucas sat up, taking a great amount of effort on his part to do so, not wanting to separate himself from Ned, but it was necessity that aided in his determination. From where they were, there was no way he was going to reach the bottle of lube. He grabbed it as quickly as possible, and took the opportunity to shift Ned’s body so he was completely on the bed, all the while managing to get clothing removed and everything situated. Ned went along without complaint or worry, allowing himself to be positioned however the other man saw fit.

Lucas kept his shirt nearby, while the other clothes found their way to the floor. Ned had only been wearing a pair of boxer shorts anyway. Lucas had been a little disappointed about having not seen exactly those golden strands had been attached to, but he was willing to wait until another time to find out. 

He squeezed out a significant enough amount of lube to coat his fingers, rubbing them together to make sure they were covered, and then just a little bit more just to make sure. 

“Love, listen to me,” he began. Carefully not to get any of the slick substance on Ned’s leg, he nudged his knees up and out. Ned was looking at him wide eyed, but there was no fear or regret in them, or anything like “What the hell am I doing here?” “I need you to breathe slowly and relax, okay? I know that you aren’t used to this, but I need you to just breathe and try not to fight me.” Ned nodded, shifting just a little bit, making sure his back was flat on the bed and his legs were where he wanted them to be. He took a deep breath and nodded again, more firmly this time. “If at any time you feel uncomfortable for any reason, you tell me to stop and I will. Okay?”

“Okay,” Ned answered. His voice was even and steady. He smiled up at Lucas. “Thank you.”

Lucas returned the smile and took a deep breath himself. The lube was making his fingers tingle with heat which was a pleasant sensation. He only hoped that Ned found it just as pleasing. 

He was amazed when Ned didn’t even so much as tremble when his fingers trailed over the bit of space and skin behind his scrotum. Ned was still looking at him, and Lucas felt for a moment a little unnerved by that fact, but it was only for a very brief time. Even when his fingers went farther, finding that most secluded spot, that portal inside, the other man didn’t even flinch. He rubbed his fingers against the puckered entrance like he was massaging it, coaxing the muscle to relax. That was the moment that Ned trembled, his leg muscles clenching, but it only lasted for a few seconds and then he settled down once again.

“Hey!” Lucas stated, drawing Ned’s attention back to him, and the instant that Ned’s eyes met his again, he pushed on finger in up to the first knuckle. Ned gasped and arched a little, his body automatically wanting to draw away from the intrusion. But, once again, he calmed quickly, inhaling once deep and steady. “You alright?”

Ned nodded, his cheeks blushing a little. “Yeah. I’m fine.” He took another deep breath. “Don’t stop.”

Lucas didn’t intend to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for everyone's patience and understanding. And for reading!!


	20. Becoming Accustomed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THE LATE UPDATE!! With everything that has been going on with me and then everything that has been going on with my wonderful and lovely beta, I haven't had much time. And this hasn't been edited since, as I stated, my beta is busy. She lives nearly halfway around the world from me, so it is hard to keep in touch, but hopefully it will get better soon. I need to write and I will. I promise. Sorry again, forgive the errors, and I hope you enjoy!

Another finger after actually pouring the lube right onto his fingers and the puckered entrance he was working to loosen. The lube heated with friction and it worked rather quickly because Ned arched off of the bed as soon as the second finger entered him, groaning wantonly. At least, Lucas hoped that was the reason why. 

“Love?” Lucas’ voice was soft but full of concern. Ned didn’t appear to be in pain, but he wanted to make sure.

“It’s kinda warm, but I’m fine.” 

Lucas moved his fingers around, scissoring them slowly, stretching the ring of muscle. Ned settled back down, his breathing under control, and even shifted his legs a little farther apart. 

Lucas’ erection was straining, so damn hard it was standing up against his stomach, the foreskin pushed back off of the mushroom-shaped head, leaving trails of precum on his skin. But he damn sure was not going to rush this. It took a few moments, but finally he was satisfied, only taking another moment to recoat his fingers and reinsert them just to make sure Ned was adequately slick enough.

He began to pour more lube into his hand in order to slick up his erection, but Ned stopped him with a hand wrapping around his wrist. 

“I want to do it,” the younger man told him. Lucas almost said ‘no’, afraid that the second Ned touched him, he would come right then and there, but Ned was already sitting up, taking the lube from his hand and pouring it into his own. He was smiling, but not blushing. 

Lucas growled deep in his throat as Ned’s hand wrapped around his cock, and if he hadn’t been completely hard before, he sure as hell was now. Ned went about his task slowly, running his hand up and down, not too tight, but not really lax either. 

Lucas was gaining a little satisfaction watching Ned as Ned watched his own hand. Ned seemed honestly fascinated which Lucas found amusing. Ned even took a few seconds to run his fingers over the head, spreading the precum around as he did so, and then used his finger tips to inspect the foreskin and on down over the veins running up and down Lucas’ penis.

“Love, I am so glad that you find my cock intriguing, and I will let you play with it all you want later, but right now, I really need to be inside of you.” Lucas’ voice was strained.

Ned chuckled, biting his lip, the blush returning. He released Lucas, who was more than adequately slicked, and Lucas used his shirt that he had left nearby to make sure all excess lube was off of his hand and fingers before reaching for a pillow. He tapped Ned’s hip and motioned for him to rise up, so Ned raised his hips off the bed so Lucas could place the pillow under his ass, positioning his very stretched and very lubed opening up higher. 

“You promise?” Ned said. And Lucas honestly didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. His brain was going into a different mode. 

“Promise what?” He asked at length.

Ned was smiling, blushing even more than before but he wiggled his ass around on the pillow until he was comfortable and then he brought his legs up and placed a foot on each of Lucas’ shoulders. “Promise that you will let me play with your…” He only hesitated a moment in saying a word he wasn’t used to saying. Lucas nodded his encouragement. “Your cock. You promise that I can play with it later.”

“All that you want for as long as you want,” Lucas swore, leaning down to kiss the other man, which pushed Ned’s knees back until they were almost resting against his own shoulders. Lucas pulled back a little, glancing from side to side. “Is that uncomfortable?”

Ned shook his head, shrugging. “No. It’s not at all.”

Lucas was not only impressed, but even more turned on, if that possible. Ned was… _bendy_. Very _bendy_. He silently thanked whoever was listening.

Lucas sat back up, but this time he placed his wrapped his hands around Ned’s ankles and kept his knees up against his shoulders. It not only opened the other man up more, but it improved the angle, Lucas was sure.

Taking his cock in hand, Lucas lined it up with the tight ring of muscle. “Remember: relax and breathe.” Ned nodded. Lucas pushed forward, the head breaching the ring of muscle and then he stopped.

Ned had his eyes shut, his hands gripping the pillow that was raising his ass up off of the mattress. His features were definitely etched in pain. He took several deep breaths, relaxing his muscles against the intrusion. 

“Babe, are you okay?”

Ned nodded, but then shook his head. “Just give me a moment, please. Just…take it out, please.” Lucas did so, pulling back. He was just about to call this whole thing off. It disturbed him greatly that Ned was experiencing so much discomfort. “Okay.” Ned said a few moments later. “I’m fine. Do it again.” Lucas did, holding his previous position, being as still as possible. Ned closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. It did this twice more. “Okay. I’m good. I’m fine.”

“Listen, love,” Lucas began. “I can do this one of two ways: I can go slowly, inch by inch if you want me to, giving you all the time you need to adjust, or I can just do it fast and get it over with. It’s up to you.”

Ned’s brow furrowed in thought and it was a good thing he was giving it so much thought. Then his brow smoothed and he said: “Do it fast.”

Lucas pulled Ned’s legs back over his shoulders, and then took both of Ned’s wrists in his hands, drawing Ned’s hands up over his head and holding them there as he leaned over the younger man, resting down on his elbows. Ned’s legs slid down, catching in the bend of Lucas’ elbows, but he still seemed at ease in the position, and the shift caused Lucas to slip inside of the other man just a little bit more. 

He found Ned’s lips with his own and it was rough and ardent. Ned returned in kind, tongue dueling just as fervently with Lucas’ as Lucas’ was with his. The muscles in Pie maker’s legs tightened, clamping onto Lucas’ elbows while his hands clenched above his head, straining against the hold on them, but the ex-spy just held them more firmly, keeping them in place. 

And then he thrust up, all the way in, fast and hard, maybe a little harder than was warranted, not stopping until he was fully sheathed inside of the other man. If Ned’s mouth hadn’t been so firmly attached to Lucas’, his cry of surprise and pain would have echoed throughout the entire building, more than likely waking Olive one floor down. His fingernails were digging into the palms of his hands so hard that they were drawing blood, and his muscles clamped down even tighter, both his leg and anal muscles. Lucas gasped, both from how incredibly tight his cock was being squeezed and when Ned’s teeth clamped down on his bottom lip. Ned’s entire body seemed to be levitating off of the bed, raising the other man’s body along with him.

Lucas rode it out. He really didn’t have much choice in the matter. Ned had damn near a death grip on his cock, and while it was pleasant to say the least, he couldn’t move at all, unable to pull out even the slightest bit and he was sure as hell he couldn’t get any deeper. 

Ned did release his lip and Lucas drew back, licking at his sore lip, tasting blood. He drew in several deep breaths as Ned did the same. He noticed that there were tears seeping out the corner of the younger man’s closed eyelids and he kissed each in turn, the salt of Ned’s tears blending with the tang of his own blood on his tongue. 

Ned drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, his muscles relaxing as he did so. “You can move now. Sorry.”

“No worries, love,” Lucas assured him, kissing him one more time. Though Ned had relaxed, it was still a tight fit. Lucas drew back slowly, watching his lover’s face for anymore discomfort, before thrusting back in. Ned’s face was the complete opposite of what it had been before: he was now blissful and pleasure filled. Two more thrusts and the American was now countering them, meeting every thrust, both of them establishing an idyllic rhythm. 

And when Lucas shifted, finding that little bundle of nerves, the low moans that Ned had been issuing, become much louder and soon turned into cries of gratification.

How much time passed, neither of them knew, and it didn’t really matter to either of them. Lucas would show Ned other things later and he couldn’t help but imagine all the magnificent positions he would be able to bend the lithe young man into. And given that Lucas was nearly as limber, he would be even more interesting in bed or _wherever_. But for now, he just wanted this first time to be simple and practical to allow Ned to attune himself to the act. 

With them situated the way they were, it was impossible for him to touch Ned, but he made sure that the muscles in his abdomen did the work for him, and with the friction of his body and Ned’s own, it was adequate enough to bring Ned to completion with a loud cry, his neck arching, the muscles stretching to create such a lovely line, his shoulders coming up off of the bed. Lucas stopped thrusting, just rocking enough that his abdomen continued to massage Ned’s pulsing erection. He had lasted longer than Lucas had thought he would given that this was his first time and all, and that he convulsed three times, coating both their stomachs with semen before softening and settling down.

Lucas wasted no time in returning to his thrusting, and was even more staggered when Ned began meeting his thrusts once again. The pie maker was damn ear exhausted, but he still managed to keep the tempo of their movements nearly in sync, and when Lucas felt his balls tighten, the explosion of fire in his loins, he thrust in as deep as he could only to be clenched once again, and he came so hard his vision blacked out for a few seconds, and he cried out in euphoria, expelling his seed in abundance before finally collapsing, spent. He released Ned’s wrists and immediately felt arms wrap around him. He slid his arms free unable to do anymore with them but to let them fall bonelessly to the sides. Ned’s legs slowly stretched out, just as lacking in sensation.

And that was how both of them went to sleep, too tied to even move to cover themselves up or find a more comfortable position on the bed. And neither cared anyway.


	21. Hello Morning!

Olive wondered for a moment if there was someone who shouldn’t be downstairs, in the kitchen, down there going through stuff, looking for something valuable, a robber, or someone of that nature. Because there was a lot of noise, much too much noise for this hour of the morning. The sun wasn’t even up yet, was just barely trying to break over the horizon, and it seemed as if she had just gone to sleep after having watched that stupid movie about someone breaking into homes and killing people.

She creeped down the stairs, a baseball bat in her hands, wishing she had gone the other way and woken up the two guys who currently resided here with her. Ned was really good in a pinch, could take care of himself rather well, but it was the ex-spy, with a _gun_ , who would be the most useful to her at the moment. But, instead, she was going about this all by herself because she was reluctant to disturb them. They were up _there_ , which meant something had happened, and though she was glad for it, that didn’t give her the inclination to barge in.

Of course, if she had gone upstairs instead of downstairs, she would have found that one of them was missing and that was the person who she found in the kitchen. But, then again, she found that out by going downstairs first and with time enough to set the baseball bat aside before anything disastrous could happen with it, like a concussion or a broken nail on her part.

“Ned?” She began, setting the bat up against the wall. “What are you doing up so early?” This was either a good thing or a bad thing. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” was the answer. The smile that accompanied it, however, told Olive all she needed to know and thus she knew that it was a good thing.

“Oh and why not?” She just had to push.

Ned just smiled again, almost much too wide for his face, a dazzling, brilliant smile, shy around the edges, but pearly and white and oh-so-wonderfully-happy. “I wanted to get an early start on the pies and I was thinking of branching out a little bit. You know, a pastry here and a cupcake there, or something like that. I don’t know, I just felt a little bit of branching out is warranted every once in a while and I have been thinking about it for some time, but I woke up on the right side of the bed, and it all became clear to me, as in crystal, that I should broaden my horizons.” He tossed the towel he was holding onto his shoulder and then checked the oven before going to the table he was working at. “What do you think?”

“I think that is a great idea,” Olive answered, nodding and smiling. It was nice to see Ned this happy. Seeing him this happy made her happy. “And which side is the right side of the bed exactly?”

“If you are alone, it is the side closest to the door,” Ned explained as if it were the most common of knowledge. “If you are not, it is the side of the bed that the other person is on.”

“Oh!” Olive exclaimed, nodding her head once again, this time with a certain amount of understanding. “The other person, huh? Is that the reason you are in such a good mood?”

“Maybe,” Ned answered. He hid his smile behind a look of indifference, but his eyes were still sparkling and the corners of his mouth refused to stay in a neutral stance no matter how hard he tried to make them do so. 

“You should still be upstairs, sharing the right side of the bed,” Olive stated in a scolding manner. Honestly, she just didn’t get these two sometimes. 

“I have to make the pies, remember?” Ned said. He rolled out another pie crust. “We have to make money and in order to do that we have to sell pies, which we can’t do if I don’t make them.” 

She couldn’t argue with that logic, try as she might. “Okay, but as soon as you are done, you are going back upstairs, and that is an order.”

Ned shook his head. He was filling a pan with the pie crust he had just rolled full with strawberries. “First you get on to us for doing nothing and now you want us to do something all the time. You need to make up your mind.”

“He was injured when I was getting onto you before. He obviously isn’t now, and if he still is, even a little bit, well, he doesn’t seem to care, so…” She shrugged. “Someone has to keep a level head around here and it might as well be me.”

Ned smiled but said nothing more as Olive went out into the front area to get the coffee on. 

He had gone back to concentrating on another pie, humming as he did so, so caught up in what he was doing that he was startled when arms slid around his waist from behind, warm breath rustling the hair on the back of his neck just before warm lips kissed the skin just below his hairline. Ned closed his eyes, a smile on his face, as he couldn’t help but lean back into the body behind him.

“Olive is in the other room making coffee.” It was meant as a warning, but it was weak at best. Truth be told, he didn’t really care now. Even if the place was full of customers, there was no way he wanted Lucas to stop. “And I am going to get flour all over you.”

“That’s a chance I’m willing to take.” Lips moved along his hairline to that certain spot just behind Ned’s ear that made his knees buckle and his breath hitch in his throat. “So, how long until the pies are done and you get a break?”

“I still have to work after the pies are done. There are special orders and…a lot of…other…things.” There really was a lot he had to do during the day when the Pie Hole was open. Honestly, there was, but it was so damn hard to concentrate when Lucas kept doing that and…oh, _that_. “Please, stop. I really have to finish these pies and as much as I would love to let you do whatever you wanted to me right here on this table, I have to make a living.”

“Whatever I wanted? Right on this table here?” Lucas had, at least, stopped what he had been doing and was now looking over Ned’s shoulder at the table in question. Covered in floor and various fruit, it had its appeal. It would have even more appeal with a certain pie maker spread out over it, preferably naked. “Yes. That I could do.”

“Later.” Ned said, twisting just enough so he could turn and kiss the other man on the lips, which was a big mistake because the peck he planned to give the Englishman before turning back to his work, turned into a full-out make-out session and it was quickly turning into take-me-right-here-on-this-table-right-now. 

In fact, Ned had gone so far as to hop up on the table, Lucas stepping up between his spread legs, gathering in his arms once again, kissing him crazy, tilting him back, bowls and utensils brushed out of the way, flour and fruit be damned, when an interruption that they should have known was bound to happen, did, in fact, happen.

“Ned! We are out of those little pink sugar packets.” Olive bellowed from the other room. “I don’t think they are really sugar, though. Are they really sugar? Or a substitute? Anyway, we are out!”

Both sighing, Lucas released Ned and back off as Ned, albeit reluctantly, hopped down from the table. “She is the one who puts this stuff away. Why can’t she ever find it?” Ned huffed as he smiled apologetically to the ex-spy before making his way to where Olive was. Just before he did, however, he heard Lucas snicker and he turned a questioning eye to the other man.

“It’s nothing, love.” Lucas waved him on his way, a smile playing on his face. “Go on. I’ll get you later.”

“Yes, you will.” Ned agreed, smiling wide as he continued on his way.

Lucas was not about to tell Ned that nearly the entirety of his backside was covered in flour. He grinned, about to and get a cup of coffee, when he was suddenly thrown backwards, glass, utensils, fruit, flour, and smoke flying all around as the front of the Pie Hole exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone!!
> 
> I wish I could find both Pushing Daisies and the seasons of MI5 that Richard was in on DVD. I don't order online and I can't find them in any stores near me, except Best Buy, but that is 45 miles away from me and since I can't drive anymore, I can't get there.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the cliff hanger. Will update soon!!


End file.
